Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!




Facts of Life ~ Sexual Education ~ Vanilla or darker sex


They're many ways to enjoy sex. As long as the person gives their informed consent, they're all moral.

Just like a dove bird eats insects during the day, bats eat them at night. They serve the same purpose but at different times. It doesn't make them more evil because they're doing it in the dark.

White dove Brown long-eared bat


But there are criminal things that are never acceptable because they hurt against their will, directly or indirectly, people who are vulnerable to abuse.

A child isn't mature enough to fully understand the risk and consequences of such an act. Kids are trained from birth to obey adults, entrusting their wellbeing and very lives to their (hopefully) superior strength and wisdom. Someone who abuse that trust for their own selfish needs, so that he/she won't have to fear being rejected or denied even the worst selfish demands, even when the child doesn't want to... It's criminal and repulsing.

There's a huge difference between calling your wife, who dressed like a cheerleader, a bad girl and spanking her; and beating the hell out of someone you're raping while they cry and puke because you're too sickening. If you need that to feel like somebody, you have some serious self esteem issues. Learn self control, that will make you a stronger person, it's easy to do anything anyhow, but you can't aim towards a goal and accomplish something that way. Putting someone like that down would be doing them, and society, a big favor.

Same for an animal, we can't really understand their language so we can't be sure that we have their consent. Being their master, that would be an abuse of power.


Respect others

As much as something can be enjoyable, if you force it on someone, crushing their free will is so excruciatingly destructive that it shadows any kind of joy into oblivion, and can shatter their very minds and sense of identity as a genuine person; it's devastating. That's why rape is a criminal abomination. I'd rather be killed. Then do whatever with my corpse (Necrophilia). But knowing myself I'd probably find a way to still hit you with a dead body spasm.


Respect yourself first

It's not because the possibility is there that you should do it!

("CAUTION! - Research material - not for young readers!" Meh, knowledge is power. It's best for kids to know what might be out to get them: 22 Possible So-Called Sexual Orientations).

Sometimes no one should be doing it, ever. Not even thinking about it, fill your head with something more constructive. At other times it's simply who you are and you're the only one who'd get hurt, so you might as well accept yourself.

Like I did for having skills and a identity related for both genders, it's very innocent! Calling it a disorder is just judging, not understanding. I understand pedophiles, it's still utterly mean.

If people are truly your caring friends they will respect you. No matter how much everyone is doing it and peer pressuring you, the choice is always yours to make, and yours alone, for yourself! Your own your own body. What matters are the limits that you choose for yourself, choose wisely, you'll have to live with both the up and down sides of them. When you respect yourself, if someone doesn't, you won't allow it and protect yourself by any means necessary.


Defend yourself

Read on self defense at the hubbardtwppd cop site; my favorite is the Throat Strike. Do it to loved ones if you have to. If they don't respect your safety, then they deserve it. The law doesn't consider it assault, but avoid striking first. You can get out of almost anything with words. Say more than just no, it's used in foreplay, that's why people who play hard use safe words like banana. Say clearly that you don't want this and to go away.

If they touch you against your consent, stand firm and glare saying something against it with firm resolve. If they don't back off, do what you have to do, pain is a great teacher; so teach them that people aren't powerless dolls or pre-paid faking sex actors who always seem willing. Make it hurt.

Don't be scared, they're counting on it. Focus, with a deep breath, stay calm, and you'll figure it out. Chances are, that alone will intimidate anyone. A scum ("Worthlessness", "waste of skin", "dirt", "Nothing") trying to abuse you need easy victims; they're probably doing it by force because they can't even get a date! So look down on them. Don't be afraid, they're weaklings, power is the trill they're seeking, deny it to them even if it kills you anyway. Don't go down without a fight! Teeth hurts and eyes are very fragile.

Of course the element of surprise can make you freeze and it's harder to think clearly, so make sure you read about self defense before something happens. If you know that the worst can happen, you’ll be prepared and your brain will be less inclined to freeze, trying to deny it, all confused. Knowledge is power.


There's a very fine line between pain and pleasure

Make sure you don't get hurt or hurt someone unnecessarily. You could pay for it for a long time; either from trauma (post traumatic stress), an STD or jail. As a society we agreed to keep our primal brains under control, and to take away the freedom of those who wouldn’t respect the free will of others. But karma has a funny way to kick you back in the face with a disease too.

But if you get a willing equal, you can even do BDSM:

"a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S, D/S, or Ds), sadism and masochism (S&M or SM). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities and forms of interpersonal relationships. While not always overtly sexual in nature, the activities and relationships within a BDSM context are almost always eroticized by the participants in some fashion. Many of these practices fall outside of commonly held social norms regarding sexuality and human relationships. "

Bondage: "the state or practice of being physically restrained, as by being tied up, chained, or put in handcuffs, for sexual gratification."

Domination: "rule or sway; control, often arbitrary: having unlimited power; uncontrolled or unrestricted by law; despotic; tyrannical."

Sadism: "sexual gratification depends on causing pain or degradation to others. Compare masochism. Any enjoyment in being cruel." Bullying, mobbing or a unprovoked assault, especially on family members, is sick and wrong; but if you tease-hurt someone who find it pleasurable, then there's no harm done and it's therefore irreproachable.

Submission: Submissive: "tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility." Basically finding pleasure in devoted obedience. It can be relaxing to be free of responsibilities, like a pet, and be taken care of in exchange.

Masochism: Sexual gratification depends on suffering physical pain or humiliation.


For autoerotic asphyxiation see my How to suicide ~ Hanging tutorial. It's dangerously deadly. "1,000 Americans each year" kill themselves trying to increase their orgasm this way. Read more about The Highest Price for Pleasure at medicinenet and at wikipedia.


Latex on the beachFetichism: "use of some object, or part of the body, as a stimulus in the course of attaining sexual gratification, as a shoe, a lock of hair, or underclothes."

Or spandex, vinyl and latex (google images) clothes~

I took the definition from the psychiatry line, but does this beauty looks like having a mental disorder to you? It’s just a sensual fashion statement.

Those so called specialists sure like to invent elaborated names for simple things that they are completely clueless about, their own ignorance disturbs and scares them. It's just aesthetically gorgeous, most of the time. It's waterproof so it's easier to clean the body fluids too! It looks like you can reveal your shape completely yet you feel completely protected under that other skin~ Poetic! Even nuns can be crazy. You can't judge a book by its cover. Any compulsion can be a scary thing, even with hording cats.


Liking classic softer vanilla sex is fine as well. To each their own. Nothing stands still, if you move in a direction you'll always move forward. The deeper you'll go into the rabbit hole. The more thrills you seek, the more you will feel the need for something even harder as you get used to it. The more you have something, the more you want it. So make sure to moderate yourself before you get consumed. Pleasure turned into an obligation isn't fun anymore.

Anything is okay between two consentual people, if they love and respect each other's limits and needs. They'll make place for the other's pleasure too and will be more careful not to harm you if they want to keep you.

But it's probably best to start with vanilla and keep darker explorations to occasionally spice things up. It will keep you balanced. Otherwise you'll need something way too hard core for special occasions.

Don't get consumed; don't forget the other parts of you, the other sides of a relationship. Don't be blind to your heart trying to please the crotch; your mind could get lost into the dark.

Enjoy~


Next: Many sexual identities and orientations.




Lisa Of Shades
1 September 2013
Edited: 30 September 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!