Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!




Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Animal 3


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Be careful what you wish for
Insanity Wolf ~ Pet
Giving birth to a cat
Polar bear breathing fire (Sunset glow)
Parrot with a diploma and graduation hat
The spider religion
Spider ~ Golden silk orb-weaver
Torrents ~ Japanese flag ~ Red dot ~ Cat ~ Laser pointer



Be careful what you wish for

Meme: "All I want is to pet all of the dogs."
Retarded dog: "Thanfs?"
Sam the world's ugliest dog: "Oh yeah, touch me~ *moans*"
Insanity wolf: "COME CLOSE ENOUGH FOR A HUG... SO I CAN MUTILATE YOU!"

Be careful what you wish for. Reality is more gruesome than you want to imagine.

All I want is to pet all of the dogs. Be careful what you wish for ~ Retarded dog, Sam the world's ugliest dog, insanity wolf.

I made this to reply a meme I found. I've seen some really ugly dogs that would make that person run away shrieking. Well, hopefully not for the dogs, it would be nice if someone was truly this caring... But petting is self serving, it's not like the art was about taking care of their needs, like feeding... So yeah, it's selfish. What are they going to do if the dog doesn't want to be pet? Do it by force? A pet rape? That's mean.

I don't understand people's satisfaction in "rescuing" a mutated, deformed animal... crippled and in constant pain...

There are countless pets being killed everyday because there's no one to take care of them, why not rescue a perfectly healthy one instead to prolong the suffering of an unviable body. We can't save them all, and we shouldn't... We enjoy freak shows because it inspires us "if that deformed cripple can do it, so can I!"...

Do we really need to let deformed animal have a life of misery and pain so you can feel less bad about your own life, by watching them suffer and struggle more than nature intended to... NO! Sometimes killing is mercy. I know. It's our survival's instinct nature to cling to life... But if we're going to kill animals for food and lack of caregivers... we should keep the best ones, instead to entertain ourselves with the worst off.

Abused animals deserve to be rescued and have some joy in life... even the cripples and the ones born mutated... but sometimes it's too late, and we should focus our energy saving the others, so they won't end up this way.

If you have the guts to pet them anyway, out of love and not guilt or superiority... then go ahead.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 8 February 2016
Text: 7 April 2016

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Insanity Wolf ~ Pet

COME CLOSE ENOUGH FOR A HUG... SO I CAN MUTILATE YOU!

Insanity Wolf ~ Come close enough for a hug so I can mutilate you! ~ Don't pet against their will or you'll get hurt

I made this for the previous art: Be careful what you wish for.

I thought it'd be nice to have it on its own.

"All I want is to pet all of the dogs." Don't pet against their will or you'll get hurt.

Enjoy~ With mutual consent.
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 8 February 2016
Text: 7 April 2016

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Giving birth to a cat

People adopting cats. Should stop referring to themselves as “mommy”. Because you are implying that you gave birth to them and it's really gross.

Woman giving birth to a cat ~ wet pussy ~ Stop calling cat owners mommy, it's gross

It's so disgusting. I replaced a baby by an angry wet pussy... It's an adult cat... and even uglier than I expected to find.

People think of ADULT cats as their human babies... It's disrespectful to the cats. They dress them in ridiculous outfits to play Barbie doll with a living creature that cannot leave... I guess there are worse ways to satisfy procreation instincts... giving birth to yet another stupid human in this overpopulated world.

Pregnant woman giving birth hospital birth story at YouTube. Oh the horror...

Thank you, cats, for your noble sacrifice.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 8 February 2016
Text: 7 April 2016

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Polar bear breathing fire (Sunset glow)

Global warming. Caused by fire breathing bears. This educational message was sponsored by the petroleum industry. Sunset glow

Global warming, polar bear breathing fire, sunset glow

People will claim any bullshit and try to ridicule the obvious to avoid changing. But there are ways to get rich without destroying ourselves in the process...

The icy poles are melting so much from global warming that polar bears end u drowning looking for land

I understood global warming when I went to see fireworks during a hot summer day in the city. I went to a deserted field, with lots of wild plants that grew in that forgotten part of the city... It was freezing cold!

The planet is warming up because we are polluting with CO2 by burning stuff AND we cut down the trees that turns it back into oxygen and cools down the fire... They're the lungs of the Earth, we exhales COW and inhale oxygen, plants do the opposite... So we are destroying both ends, slowly cornering ourselves into an inhabitable planet... Good luck breathing money, we can't even feed on that stuff.

We're doing this too fast for the planet to recover... and so fast that we can no longer think "The next generation can figure it out, fuck it! I'll be dead in my golden coffin anyway." It's happening now, and we are the next generation... We must change the world, even if our degenerate ancestors who shat all over our heritage will despise us for trying something different than their good old crappy ways that got us into that mess in the first place

There are already healthier ways... but we cling to the deadliest ones in the name of technology, money and power... Soon there will be no more dinosaur farts to burn... and then it might be too late to grow trees before we suffocate... Human beings re pollution itself, we need less of us... Less shitty stuff to make to give us a reason to live and something to do... Being trapped in boxes all day... Turning to virtual reality because the world around us is too confining and crappy... Playing in virtual fields... with virtual sunsets... because we destroyed the ones we had...

Some people already rely on an oxygen tank to breathe... as if dragging our malnourished fat toxic asses wasn't hard enough already... The planet will recover after we destroy ourselves completely. I can't wait.

I guess people recycle and invent healthier ways... I guess change is happening slowly... But it seems too slow to me... I feel discouraged by the people in power, us all, making bad choices and being complacent... Thinking that we already have it as good as it gets... when it can be far worse and far better... if we fight for it... By simply asking for it... The money thirsty people will have no choice but to oblige if we refuse their inferior options. They made us believe that the powerful was powerless... that we where ugly and needed their beauty products... that we needed more junk food because healthy food are tasteless without toxic artificial flavors... And we believed them... That's why we are fools.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 17 February 2016
Text: 7 April 2016

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Parrot with a diploma and graduation hat

Don’t confuse Education & Intelligence. Education is memorizing what you’re told and being able to repeat it like a parrot. Buying an expensive piece of paper to prove it. Intelligence is exploring on your own with the curiosity to question everything. Figuring out when old common sense is wrong. Discovering new ideas and knowledge that morons will be proud to learn blindly.

Parrot with a diploma and graduation hat ~ Don't confuse Education & Intelligence.

People look down on others who have less money and education than they do... But as lucky as you should feel with all the appreciation that your heart can muster to have had such opportunities... That doesn't necessarily make you a better person.

Someone who's rich by exploiting the poor children in other countries... are they really better than volunteers helping alleviate misery during tragedies for free?

Someone who had a superior IQ but cannot afford to go to the university, or is so weird because of the unusual way that their brain works, that no one would hire them anyway... are they really stupider than someone who was pampered by their parents while they where carefree to memorize anything mindlessly... when the child doesn't even want to have that career but is too scared to defy their parents and choose for themselves...

The truth has many sides and is always complex. We all have flaws and qualities. No one was given the perfect situation to be at the best they could be. Everyone make the best of what they can... Sometimes it seems that it's not much, but it took a tremendous effort to get there... just to stay alive... and that too deserves respect. You never know what someone had to go through...

Keep your head held high. If you're looking down on others, you're doing it wrong.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 19 February 2016
Text: 7 April 2016

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The spider religion

Spider Jesus. Can walk on water. "He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life..." John 6:54. He will make a web to trap your sins & nightmares. It could be worse. If there are no pedophiles allowed in the spider religion, I’m in! (Christianity parody)

Spider in bottle of water ~ religion Christianity Jesus parody ~ walk on water eat flesh drink blood eternal life ~ pedophiles

I took the picture from a meme. It probably just said nope. But it had so much more joke potential. I thought I could make a new religion out of it.

I am ashamed at the religion that was forced on me as a child... Christianity... Instead to send the pedophiles straight to hell (instead to burn innocent women as witches) they covered up their crimes for them and kept them near kids!

And they worship a zombie asking you to drink his blood and drink his flesh... Isn't that the other way around? Maybe Jesus was a vampire wanting to turn people... Either way, that spider is less fucked up than the bible. And you have proof that she can walk on water right there!

I don't want blind faith, that's the best way to get screwed! I want to believe the truth, no matter how horrible it may be.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 14 March 2016
Text: 18 April 2016

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Spider ~ Golden silk orb-weaver

(Text is below)

Spider golden silk orb weaver ~ Trapped chicken in web ~ Rare fabric ~ Spiderman Deadpool

Spider: "I can trap birds, snakes, souls... and turn them into gold."

Golden silk orb-weaver.
In 2004, a rare fabric was created. A 11x4 foot shawl using 1.2 million spiders. 70 people spent 4 years collecting them from telephone poles in Madagascar. Another dozen workers carefully extracted about 80 feet of silk filament from each of the arachnids, then released them 30 minutes later. By 2012, after 8 years, they produced a bigger cape.

Milking spiders as a job. Wearing their web. It sounds fun compared to a lot of things. It was even fancy enough to be displayed in museums.

Spiderman: "She’s hot!"
Deadpool: "Like a taco!"


Comments

I found the image as a meme that said "A farmer in Taiwan lost his chicken for NOPE reason..."

I wanted the spider to add "Hail Satan" for trading the souls of the innocent into gold thanks to making a pact with the devil.

First dialogue idea:

Spider: "How dare you try to steal my happy meal! I love McBugs! You ruined the web I made with my own ass! I suspended debris to warn you! Fuck it, I’m eating you."
Chicken: "It's such a comfy hammock. I couldn't resist."

Golden silk orb-weaver at wikipedia.
The spider "suspended debris-chain as a cue for birds to avoid blundering into and destroying the web."

The amazing pictures of a giant spider eating a bird at dailymail. They really do eat birds!


1 million spiders make golden silk for rare cloth at wired.

The science of the golden spider-silk cape at newscientist.

The fabric is really beautiful but not what they did with it. But it inspired me a Deadpool joke and it's always fun to have more of those~

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
Image: 14 March 2016
Text: 18 April 2016

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Torrents ~ Japanese flag ~ Red dot ~ Cat ~ Laser pointer

How it feels to see Japanese people interested in my anime torrents:
Cat with big eyes: "Wow! Red dots!!!"
Thank you for the happiness. It’s an honor to give some back.

Torrents peers ~ Japanese flag ~ Red dot ~ Cats love laser pointers

I love anime, Japanese culture and I'm grateful to their people for bringing such joy in my life. It's always an honor to see Japanese people in the peer list of anime torrents. I get all giddy inside. The Japanese flag looks like a red dot, and cats hunt laser pointers... So the cat represents my reaction well.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
31 December 2016

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