Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!

Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Dark morbid gore 3

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Phone ~ Old strangles new
Nagging is venom
Make guns illegal
Crazy woman on board
Kidney bathtub Heart
I see dead people (2 versions)
Twilight Sparkle Edward
Welfare Jason Voorhees bible
A penny every time
Cthulhu make over (Warning: Hard core gore)
Hitler ~ Heil Japan! Heart Heart Heart
Deadpool: Talkative
Toe VS glass

Phone ~ Old strangles new

Oh, you have a new phone? I’m not impressed. I can split your skull in half and strangle you with my old one. Clobbering and choking beats radiating and cancering.

I can split your skull in half and strangle you with my old phone.

Calling 911 with that probably took forever; it was way faster to just kill the threat with the phone. It still is, but the phones are way too fragile now. I guess you could give them cancer with the phone's radiation, but it takes a while.

Clobbering beats cancering.

Radiations and toxins are causing cancer, claiming it's the cure must be a conspiracy to shift blame and continue to sell people death in all impunity. Demanding funds to find how to survive deadly things is as pathetic and pointless as giving money to church to have eternal life. There are no guarantees that they know god, the right one, the right way, and their god is probably pissed with them for sinning. And if you want to detox, vitamin C foods do wonders.

Yes I'm aware that cancering is not a word. But it should be (hey it's actually used!). So we could accuse companies of cancering clients. Pay for the disease and pay for the cure. It's the American dream. It's just that it’s a nightmare for 99% of the people. But they accept the crushing to live with the hope to be part of the 1% that crushes others with a smile someday. Suckers.

You can really enjoy clobbering while it’s happening to your enemies, with the screaming and bleeding and all. It’s messy but at least you don’t kill yourself by accident with repeated exposure; you’d notice hitting yourself in the head, boobs or testicles repeatedly… or maybe not, people are drunk, drugged numb and stupid.

Would you rub your testicles on the microwave while it's cooking? If not, don't put your phone in your pocket all day. But feel free to do it, the world is overpopulated. Since you can’t keep your dick in your pants, you might as well keep a sperm killer machine in there. Maybe that’s why phones were invented (no it was to make war more efficient) well, maybe that’s why they’re spread to the stupid public, population control~~~ Clever! But no, it’s just for money to buy more junk themselves.

All we really need is to eat and shelter. If the food and space is there anyway, why trick each other while the real important people work to grow food? Animals don't need to do telemarketing to eat and fuck, they just find it themselves. We can't even do that on our own!

Oh you’d be so screwed in a zombie apocalypse, a big crowd not knowing how to organize themselves because they don’t know how to communicate without the internet. It’s already happening, the zombies too!!! Just look at pictures taken with a web cam, totally hypnotized by the screen’s flashing light into being brain dead. If only people ate brains maybe people would be less stupid. (They’d get psycho from the prion damage, but that’d probably make them more lively and interesting…)

Maybe technology is just a new way that nature uses to cull out the stupid, by killing them with radiations, for being addicted to the wrong things. Like a new plague. *Sigh* Why do I even try to warn people, I should just sit back and enjoy the show. My cynicism is my way to care, in a realistic jaded manner, about willfully stupid people. Everybody knows but they don't want to miss out on all the beautiful lies, just in case false hopes are real and denial works, but then they complain when they are part of the consequences. Retards. The people selling them death are way more devious than I am. Oh well, the important thing is... I can find a way to make it amuses me~

I added the blood. He tried to dial 911 and there’s a faint trail of blood where the finger passed to rotate the dial. The corner was used to bash a head, and the hand that held the phone left a bloody mark on the handler.

You can strangle people in two different ways! Do you want a spiral or straight death? I guess the straight cable would give a quicker death than the stretchable cable, but the spiral one would prolong the anguish~~~ There’s an upside and downside to absolutely everything! Mwahaha! Even progress, you leave something behind, and sometimes that thing is better. You can’t improve perfection, so why aim to be perfect; it’s like wishing to be a dead end.

But why improve what’s not broken, especially when the only thing that change is the version number written on the phone! To make hundreds of dollars from suckers. And it works. Sucker. Because phones aren't about communication anymore, it’s about status, and if someone has a version above yours, you better run with your wallet out!

But it doesn't make you a better person; it only makes you a bigger sucker.

I am sick and tired of the craze and even war around phones types!!! People get crazy about the phone themselves, but when it’s time to do an activity and actually TALK to people, they only want to text or go on facebook. I’m antisocial but at least I don’t have a phone, I have consistency.

I actually tried... I got one and it kept beeping all the time, giving ME orders: unplug me, plug me… just stay plugged and shut the hell up!!! It harassed me for publicity at any time of the day and I couldn’t escape because I expected a call from work… which never came! I spent more time dealing with the phone’s shit than actually talking with friends!? And all they cared more about was flashing their phones in my face, as if it made them better people, kinda telling me that I’m less important, instead to actually make the effort to say something worth earring.

New phones DOES NOT make people’s lives better! It enables them to be worse people. It gives them a tool to AVOID talking with people and act like assholes. Or to stalk them and control them in a full blown madness. It’s compulsion, even mind control.

I clawed out my phone’s battery and threw it in my closet, I intend to do something similar to whoever dares to call themselves my friend and claim to want to see me, but use their phone in my face instead to pay attention to me. What’s the point of having the possibility to communicate with people right away anywhere if you don’t actually want to? What’s the point of checking for new stuff right away in case you miss an opportunity (as if you could die if you waited 5 minutes to check that dancing cat from a spam email) when you ruin the NOW with the person you’re actually with!!!

And the damn products don’t even work right! I never had a connection or sound problem with my home phone. It dies on you when your life actually depends on it. But it’s not like you can knock out unconscious an intruder the way we could with very old phones (actually I’m old enough to have knows phones that you had to spin and wait for every numbers you dialed. It makes a fun toy though). But new phones will give you breast cancer and brain tumors. It kills kids. Not much of a toy.

It’s just about status and following trends like mindless sheep. Actually futurama did the most hilarious episode about that, rushing to buy the newer versions, for hundreds of dollars, even though the clerk clearly stated that it was a piece of garbage "Just take my money!!!" 500$ for a phone that I used to pay 10$... are you freaking kidding me!? It doesn’t make people call me more or make them say more interesting things... At least make a freaking Artificial Intelligence I can talk to! That’d be a refreshing change worth paying for: intelligence.

Important people might need cell phones, like ambulance drivers... but then everyone wanted to feel important, even though people couldn’t care less about them, not even themselves... Trying to add value to their pathetic selves and worthless existences with junk. It can be lost or stolen! Skills are harder to loose, learn some.

Kids you might think you’re cool and even bully kids who have an older phone than you, or none if their parents are too poor, or too intelligent and buying them good food or investing in activities instead. But it’s just a leash that your parent uses to control you. They can know wherever you are at any time and check on your bullshit. There’s even a GPS to find your corpse. Because you can't expect the cops to get their donuts out of their asses and save you, no mater how fast you call people, and how easy they are to reach, it won’t make them care more about you or be there for you more.

Try to find an app for giving a damn! HA! Phones are just a big illusion of being connected; it’s nothing but pixels on a screen. Attention and human warmth, even when you manage to be with someone, true quality time and enjoying the present, reality, life itself… It’s priceless value got lost, even though it’s free, replaced by overpriced gadgets that breaks so easily.

Maybe phones are like Christmas (I hate it too). It makes people who actually have family, friends and a lover feel overwhelmed; and it makes people who don’t have anyone feel even lonelier.

Well, I don’t need to pay a monthly fee “just in case”, or to check stuff online anytime, wherever I go. I’m going to live a hundred years (especially since I don’t sleep on a phone, so no brain tumor for me, I hope) I have plenty of time to check stuff online. When I’m out, I’m out. Take a freaking break! Get real. Smell a freaking rose! Live. You don’t need an app for that, you just need to enjoy it.

The only way to miss out on life is to fail to notice and enjoy what’s right in front of you. And lowering your head on an annoyingly bright tiny screen tends to do that.

Lisa Of Shades
3 July 2014

Back to list ^

Nagging is venom

Nagging is venom. Teaching is constructive.
Go ahead loser, have children. So whenever you screw up your life, you’ll have someone to blame. You’ll never take responsibility for your own mistakes again. You couldn’t even get contraception right; you’ll still be a failure as a parent. You’re so despicable that you’ll even destroy unconditional love and turn an angel into a demon. Good luck not being stabbed in your sleep. No one is defenseless when the survival instinct kicks in.

Nagging is venom, broken heart and angel wings, thinking about killing with a knife

I'm the living proof that it can seriously mess someone up and give them some very hard to control rage issues. Malnutrition too, and it tends to happen with neglect. My life could have been so much worse, and I could have turned so much worse as well. I count myself lucky, and you should too... Art can do wonders for the soul. Punching people in the throat too.

If you didn’t want children and got fucked anyway, don’t blame the child for your own stupidity and take your responsibilities. If he’s a bad child, then you’re a bad teacher. You deserve a bad child for getting fucked when you didn’t want to take responsibility or even love for the result! But the child did nothing wrong to deserve YOU as a shitty parent! Kids, opening your legs doesn’t magically turn shit heads into good loving people. Just don’t do the same hoping to find love this way. Clearly, it didn’t work out for you so far if you feel unloved by your parents after they did it to bring you into the world...

Using people as punching bag for frustrations that have nothing to do with them can backfire. Undeserved hatred seeds a deserved one.

You couldn’t even control your own cunt, what makes you think you can control what comes out of it.

I edited the typical logo. I kept my first crooked mouth because it shows how twisted and ugly it makes you look. I drew the angel wings… the poor kid looks devastated. He did nothing wrong, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time: in her reach.

I didn’t know that you can actually see snakes throw venom away… I’d rather spend time with a venomous snake. They don’t bite without provocation. Unlike bitches.

Psychological violence hurts more than anything, it destroys inside, the adrenal glands, and you need them to live.

That one touches me personally and is the root of many social problems. No one deserves to be born unwanted and unloved, get an abortion. Quality of life is sacred, not mere survival in abuse and violence; psychological violence is worse than physical, the body heals, the mind adapts. We’re animals, you can make them feel threatened so you can have a power trip and feel safer and stronger, but when the survival instincts kicks in, with nothing to loose, even the nicest little angel can grab a knife and make that venom trap of yours drown you in your own blood.

Complaining, criticism and nagging DON’T HELP anyone. Not even yourself as you try to use it to vent. You just nurture poison in your own mind, bathe in it and spread it around you; so that’s all you’ll ever find! Actions, understanding and teaching can change the world. Sometimes the best thing you can do is shut the fuck up, go scream in a pillow, take a hot bath…

Your kids are raised by you, so if they fail, they’re YOUR failure as a teacher, YOUR failure as a person, because you can’t demand them to be greater than you, to do more than how you limit them with your support and resources for them. They’re copies of you. So they’re not failing, they just mirror that you’re a failure. It's pointless to take it out on them; they'll just return it 10 fold by mimicking your bullshit.

Teach them better, or at least get the hell out of the way and don’t make it worse!!! Kids usually turn the violence that you vomit in them against themselves by cutting… the best little angel can end up completely broken… But sometimes sanity kicks in and they turn the violence to end the cause, the problem, their violence against the source of the violence... turning into murderous demons, as they merely give you back what you gave them, accumulated inside until it exploded right back in your face. Or in society's face because looking the other way when someone asks for help is as bad as helping the guilty. No one is ever innocent anyway, so why bother being martyr. I'd rather be bad to protect myself than bad for letting people abuse me.

If it makes them vengeful instead of grateful, it’s YOUR fault for not giving them something appreciable to receive. It’s YOUR fault for giving them a poisoned ball of pain, all they ever did was to play along. Of course some selfish brats can deserve a good beating, but it’s still better to teach them to share, deeper value than superficial junk… but don’t expect them to learn respect if you have none for them or even yourself… Children are watching us, they’re our future, but we’re their past. We pave their way, we guide them… and sometimes it’s straight to hell. This can turn the best people into the worse monsters. But what other choice do they have to survive.

The sweet irony is: since I’m ready to kill… I never had to. I don’t let people crush me anymore, and sometimes all it takes is merely walking away. You can’t appease, please or cheer up someone who enjoy the very act of being miserable and spreading it to have company. Don’t waste energy on a black hole and use it to take care of yourself. The day someone will choose to improve their situation, they’ll shut up and act.

Good thoughts start with good nutritious food. Feed your kids better than junk, there’s no shortcuts to health and thriving happily, but there’s one towards death.

Instead to tell your kids a bunch of insults, teach them skills until it stops being true. Do your fucking job as a parent!!! You got what you deserved for loading your kid on sugar and caffeine, and not keeping your crotch in your pants!

If you don’t want kids, don’t fuck.

If you want to fuck and not have kids, use contraception, preferably more than one at once.

If you fucked, contraception failed and you still don’t want kids, get an abortion!

If you fucked, contraception failed, abortion failed, got refused or you were too scared or lazy… then be fucking grateful for your kid to spend some time with you, because I sure as hell wouldn’t want to spend a SECOND with such a retard!


I need to tell more… because this isn’t against authority, kids shouldn’t do anything anyhow just because they wanna or because it’s haaard… It’s against abusive psychological violence.

Asking a child loudly and firmly to clean up his room, before cockroaches have a party in his hairs at night, sounds fair to me. Slapping his butt, after he nearly set the house in fire playing fireman with real matches, sounds necessary to me. But belittling a good quiet child, just because you had a bad day, or never wanted to take care of the result of your mindless fucking but opened your legs anyway, is unforgivable.

I was in special classes for the intellectually gifted and had good grades, yet my mother called me retarded constantly. It was irrational, illogical and purely cruel. And she called ME crazy too, well, after all her madness I sure am!

But I wasn’t coming home pregnant, put loud music or stealing her cash to do drugs, I wasn’t the bully... I was the victim and I was sick… but she blamed me for whatever OTHER people or life threw at me. How the hell am I responsible for everything that happens in the world!? But at some point, I thought I had to... The pressure and guilt and everyone's pain was soul crushing. It still is but now I can laugh at my own misery and know that others are responsible for their own.

No one deserves a bad mother, but bad mothers make bad children. She kept comparing me to other people’s kids, but I wasn’t a piece of shit because I was me, but because I was HERS. She had the complete control over my very life... She didn’t feed me good food, so I was sick. She didn’t socialize me, so I didn’t have the skills. What the hell did she expect from the ugly no life that she is!!! Doctors. The best of the best. HA! My sister tried and ended up breaking apart more than anyone. It took me a while to open my eyes to the fact that she didn't even have a job, couldn't find one herself, and if it wasn't for her lover who found her a job as a janitor, she still wouldn't have any, and she never found better by herself after. Just cleaning trash. But she couldn't believe in me, when someone told her that they're willing to hire her kid, she told me that she was too scared that I'd shame her... so she hid me in the house, all alone, then complained about the result!!! Making mistakes as you learn is perfectly normal... denying your kid opportunities to better themselves then belittling them before they even had a change to screw up... It's despicable... It can only result in a fucked up kid.

Kids who become stars, it’s not because they’re born awesome, but because their parents got off their asses and took them to acting, dancing and signing classes, paid for it, took them to auditions, encouraged them… if you mock every single thoughts, feelings and actions of your kid, never showing them anything, they’ll end up not daring to do anything, depressed, and murderous.

I put my whole family behind me in the hopes to break the cycle and become a better person than their influence… but it’s already too late. The past is gone but it forged my present. It’s hard to find acceptance, even in myself, when all I got, from before I was even born, was rejection and neglect. But it’s not self esteem the problem; it’s my trust in others. I couldn’t count on my own mother, who was supposed to protect me, as she looked away allowing the worse people to come near me… Denying me the very right to protect myself, by telling me that if people are mean to me, it’s because I’m not nice enough to them... Making me become an easy, docile and compliant victim… For her bad mood, for the worse people, and even the best ones abused me because they knew they could get away with it for once, because no one cared about me…

So if you don’t want your kids, abort them… because they can’t grow, thrive and be safe without you… A cornered animal bite. A life in rejection and misery isn’t precious… I’d rather be dead and I wished people could just get over the torture and kill me, even now... Instead to put me aside and make me watch them with all the things that I can’t ever have… Opportunities that will ever be denied to me… the most basic things… And since I had to struggle and fight relentless harassment and violence, the organs that produce energy crashed and everything in my body just shut down… Obviously it doesn't feel like happiness... I did tried drugs, smoking pot gave me more troubles from unreliable people who weren't trust worthy than fun... So when I started fainting in the middle of the street from exhaustion, I knew antidepressants wouldn't do shit and turned to nutrition. Thank you my brain, no matter how fucked up and insane and damaged you are, you're still the best brain I ever met! And you're mine! Yay~

Even if I had the perfect opportunity and life handed to me now, falling from the sky magically, I wouldn’t have the energy to handle it… I wouldn’t trust it… Everything good was twisted into an attack and thrown at my face for the pleasure to feel strong while crushing me…

I don’t trust compliments, they've been used sarcastically by my mother, and like candy on kids to make them climb in the back of a truck by men... I can’t stand having people touch me, I've been hit and dragged by force... I've been touched against my will in vile ways that should have been done with affection... I will never trust a real one, I don't even believe that it exists without a hidden agenda... “I love you” means “I want to fuck and trash you” to me… You can't love what you don't even know... you can only lust for it, wanting to use or own a thing. I'm not a thing. I don’t give a shit about which organ I have between my legs, I’m a sentient being just like every others on earth, and I’m going to fight for my survival, even though I was to die since elementary school. That’s when I met my survival instinct. He used to terrify me until I finally understood that he was the only one who cared and wanted to protect me. Thank you my darkness. You’re the only love I ever felt.

I wish I could just think that I’m wrong and insane… but as I watch others and society… I notice that I might actually be the sanest of them all… Because I watch from the outside, so I can have an objective view. You're all seriously fucked up too. But you don't know it yet.

I’m grateful to my brain to have found a way to teach me proper self care… It’s better than I ever had and better than the majority. I’m slowly undoing all the carnage and devastation inside that wounded me physically. It's not being hit that really destroyed me... it’s the attacks to my identity done by the people who pretended to love and care about me... It’s making me loose trust in myself and in everything good... Shattering my hopes to ever find better... Not just about being worthy to accept it... But because the people who loved me hurt me more than the people who hated me... Not just because my heart was more open to them... but because they deliberately used my need for love itself to abuse and crush me.

To control me, out of fear and powerlessness, but I guess that’s what’s so wrong about me… I can’t be controlled. I’m doing it well by myself, more than better than anyone can… Serving people on my knees wasn’t enough… they had to forge my very identity too… Not going to happen. My big IQ brain craves discoveries and strangeness. People reproached me being too intelligent for my own good. No. It saved my life when medicine only made it worse. I’m too intelligent to be fooled for THEIR own good. If that’s why people hated me, than I’m glad they did… But I think I was bullied like a sick animal is cut out of the pack to protect the rest… because my mother failed to care and nourish me properly. She hated me for it, blamed me, but the reason why my glasses are so thick, even though my eyes were fine at birth, and the reason why my legs are crooked making it awkward to walk… is because of malnutrition…

You can’t criminally neglect a child and expect her to thrive as well as the parents who bothered to make the efforts. She had no excuse, my father sent loads of money even though he divorced her, but she preferred to buy herself dresses and handbags… to go get more fucked. I was in the way, so at the end she just left me all alone for months… Not caring if I had food… She called me fat and ugly until I didn’t dare to eat anymore, so I wasn’t eating anyway… so with the money that my father sent to feed ME, she could afford herself more fancy dresses to feel like a better person, while I had my sister’s old garbage to wear. And then she wondered why I was sick and bullied.

I was only 115 pounds, but she wanted me to be under a healthy weight, because she was at my age, even though she was way fatter than me now, she blamed it on me for becoming pregnant, when all the other mothers were slim. She drove me to be sick, then she complained about it. She pourned all her madness in me, then she complained that I was crazy.

She blamed me as not having enough good will!!!? As if I could thrive on garbage and blossom on hatred. As if I could turn night into day. If I could I would have succeeded to turn her into a loving, caring and affections mother. HA! But you can’t change the unwilling. People who want to be rotten will invent excuses to justify the pain they inflict. People with a good heart will see the good or help make it happen. Thankfully I punched her. I called the cops on her. She scratched her face and told them I was insane and must be locked up… I showed them my nails, which I acted to the bone out of fear and hunger… They knew she was the insane one... they took me out… Put me in a home where I was just a cash cow… I went to court to be allowed to have the money ad live by myself. I won. At 17 I was more responsible to give myself proper care than HER, an adult mother!

So all the shit she ever said about me… I could slowly see it for the bullshit of a mean weakling… but it still scarred me… I don’t care much about the scars on my flesh… but the soul is forged in a way that tends to be harder to soothe… cutting yourself is the worse idea ever, doing nothing would be better than showing yourself that you don’t deserve to be protected. I volunteered to do the job for myself, my own job, I never felt better and safer! I’ll cut people if I have to. But they usually run very fast when they see my murderous glare.

I look at my future, and no matter how much I change, the world won’t, human nature won’t. Even if my life becomes an ideal, I can’t close my eyes to how much worse than I ever had exist in this world, done to even better people… I can’t do anything about it… Except avoid doing it myself… Perhaps it’s a nobler goal of life than gathering material stuff… But we all only try to be safe, and there’s not enough for everyone, so we climb, crush and cut people out… Beading more ready to be mean and decisive about it doesn't make you more worthy to survive, but it sure improve people's chances... I don't want to toy with people... in part because it would be too easy, and in part because I despised people like that too much to join them.

I couldn’t conquer the world alone, even evil overlords can't. My own allies brought me down to feel like they’re winning for once, instead to help each other... When my mother came back crying, dumped by her lover, after abandoning me all alone for months... I rubbed her back to console her... she never hugged me... she turned me her back and cried hugging her pillow, rejecting me... ignoring me... and a few days after, as I was quietly watching TV, she came to beat me up... to feel better. So no... I have no compassion for her. No, I'm not some angry kid who's frustrated that her mom didn't let her do whatever she wanted and tried to teach her right from wrong... My goal in my youth was to be an angel and make people laugh to make their pain and worries go away... they laughed AT me... but I guess I've succeeded... Now I want to be evil... not to cause harm, but to do whatever it takes to stop those "good, adequate, sane and worthy people" from torturing me enough to make me wish I was dead.

I have nothing but despise for hypocrites who pretend to be good. I was one of them... I didn't do it because I cared, but to feel better about myself, to stop them from hurting me... punching them works better. Becoming nicer is like rewarding cruelty and encourages worse. It sure does.

I want to be dark because it’s who I am… I am my life experiences. Yet I put on a smile with others… To spare them, but especially myself, from all that soul crushing hatred and sadness. Because complaining never changed a thing. I was hoping that someone would answer my call for help, would save me, would show me the way, would teach me what I was doing wrong, or would at least care… But it never happened… not even when they were paid to do it and claimed to be specialist...

Because people can’t even handle their own problems, even when less critical than a direct threat to their basic survival needs. But even the tiniest issue still require brain energy, and they’re tired. They need it for themselves, to gain more stuff for themselves. They’re even more clueless than me because they never tasted my reality… (and have half my IQ). And what I was doing wrong… was to care about people who didn’t. I don’t need to deserve approval, life is unfair, I only need to find someone who can appreciate the good that’s there… Sarcasm is good~

Just because I used her vagina as a portal to join this miserable world doesn't make her my mother. I am my own mother. I found how to solve my own problems. I taught myself values. I comforted myself when I wanted to cry. I protected myself when I was in danger. I healed myself when I was in pain. I did it all alone. All the good in me, I owe it to myself. She was just some stranger who used me to get money from my father, who used me as punching bag for her frustrations... Some crazy mad cow who taught me nothing but sheer terror, shame and hatred. I am so permanently overwhelmed by it that I am now immune to it. I tried to gain her love in the hope that she would spare me, to survive, to appease a rampaging monster. I am horrified to see that I'm like her, but I understand why, I understand how malnutrition can make someone rabidly hungry and aggressive... and it's because I fully understand that, and how I can imagine would be hard to raise a child, that I can't ever forgive her, that I have nothing but disdain for her... Because I also understand how to control myself... and she chose denial... she chose to give birth to me anyway, even though she had no energy or even the will to love me...

And that is as unforgivable as murder. Because the agony of death will last for my entire life time.

I was born, but I was never truly alive... My life was over before it even started... doomed to be sick and rejected... no matter what I do. Never quitting school never changed people's will to accept me and give me a chance... I'm too beat up and weak to be able to perform anyway.

I guess I can still enjoy myself... doing things, like this site, that no one will ever see or enjoy... To pass the time... as my body refuse to die... But he doesn't care how much stuff I have, how much people I have... who I am... As long as his vital needs are met... So I bow down to this will to live that is stronger than my own... and I put my vital needs before what I want... My life makes sense, is bearable, even enjoyable...

Nutrition will never change my past, but it makes a healthier present... The people in the future will still be the same... I will still be the same... my future will be the same... But now... at last I AM there for myself... no matter what... at least I won't be my own enemy. So I will never be alone, not even in solitude. No matter how good or bad I feel about it. I guess it’s a lesser of 2 evils. I don't have enough energy for me, so certainly not for others. But at least now I think I'm entitled to my own damn life. I never asked for it, never wanted it, but I sure as hell won’t give it away! I'll find a way to enjoy, the key is to look into the simplest things~

Sometimes I wonder if the nightmares and torment would stop if I had just killed her... Being rejected is worse than being an orphan, every single day is a new loss, a new rejection, a new mourning... It's better to have had love and lost it than to only know hatred... I put my family behind me not to reject them, even though I do of their mean ways, but because after 10 years of being completely ignored, except for cards and insults, of not even knowing what they look like anymore...

I merely accepted that I don't have a family, I never had, so I can look for kindness somewhere else... and no dwell in false hopes, giving them the opportunity to destroy my health, giving cash with one hand, like a hook, to use me as a punching bag for their frustrations... when they have a great life compared to mine, and especially compared to the life they inflicted on me... They're dead to me... but I still feel tormented...

I saw a happy family recently... I saw how it could have been... It wasn't perfect, but there was some warmth, some presence... some effort... some acceptance... Knowing it's bad is on thing, but knowing how good is can be, and the horrible gap in between... How much I need it... trying to find inner peace is asking me more energy than I have... to cope with such torment... with such wound... as all the scars I ever have are reopening... coming to light as I see the state of my own deformed and putrid heart...

I will never have children. Their legacy ends with me, even if they live or not, their blood line will end with me. The cycle of pain ends... I wouldn't know how to be a good mother even if I had the opportunity or energy...

All I can do is be good to myself... and not spit venom all around me... but darkness has to come out... or it will accumulate and explode out... cruelty has to come out... before it attacks an innocent... So I'll take my dark wolf for a walk, with some silly humor. No one will see it anyway, or hopefully they'll learn something... or they will relate and feel relieved... At least I understand myself... I have mercy, because I know I did my best with what I had... I know I could have turned worse... I know becoming a worse person for others was necessary to be better for myself and survive.

I want to live. I want to be safe. I want to be happy. I want to be accepted, understood and loved. And thankfully, now I give all those things to myself.

They’ll always be there, but I can make my kid side giggle louder… once I’ll find the energy. Until then all I can do is rest and eat something nutritious. And wait patiently for the storm inside me to stop pouring. Because I've done all I can do... I've accepted that there's nothing I can do to change people's hearts... and I walked away so I can't be hurt anymore.

I’m not sad that they’re not in my life anymore, I’m relieved. I don’t miss them, there’s nothing to be missed. I just long for what I never had. I just mourn what I should have had.

But I have to rejoice, because there’s so much worse in the world, because they’re too insignificant to care about, because I can be proud of myself now. I survived… As my own caregivers wished my death, worse than that, wished that I was never born, and neglected my life… I survived… I even survived my own wish to die… deadly diseases… I found a way to have my own place, safe, to face reality and make the best of it… I can be proud, because so many odds were against me.

But I sure am exhausted...... So MANY efforts just to gain so little. But I have it. Maybe having more richness handed to you makes you own more value… But perhaps struggling more to gain less by yourself earns you more value of spirit and character.

I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being me.

Lisa Of Shades
7 July 2014
Added more: 8 July 2014

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Make guns illegal

Make guns illegal.
They’re a waste of time, bazookas are way more efficient!
No people left. No arguing and complaining. No more problem.

Make guns illegal, bazookas are way more efficient. Venom.

Bazookas aren't guns. They're bazookas!

I took that delightful picture of Venom at 4thletter "He was the only thing that was keeping you alive!!!".

People argue about gun control. Just like everything else. It’s healthy to have people with different opinions and skills because you can find balance. South Park mentioned something about that, thanks to the loving hippies the country isn't seen as a threat full of mad men, and thanks to those mad men the country isn't seen as easy to conquer but kissers. So they both need each other.

But as much as guns make killing easier: Guns don't kill people, bullets do... and actually... it's stupidity, fear and hatred that kills people.

Respect should be taught, how about respecting your own kids for starters, or even better: your own self. Then your immediate neighbor. And then the attitude will spread.

As far as I know (I'm Canadian, we don't have guns in candy stores here) you need a permit to get a gun, but you only make the demand... it's not like driving a car, but you should have to take a class for proper safety procedures, and the whole family while you're at it. Then you'll know how to safely store the gun (not loaded next to the kid's toys), how to use it (not shooting in the air drunk during a wedding and killing the groom. That happened.) of course you can't cover up all the stupid way that people can mess things up bad, but you can make sure they know the basics before giving them the permit, with a exam... and probably have to take classes learning how to shoot accurately. You’d be better off not having a gun if you're going to "accidentally" shoot your wife behind you instead of the burglar in front of you...

But making them illegal completely is pointless... because criminals don't get their guns legally before committing their crimes, it'd be way too easy to trace it back to them (but cops are lazy anyway). So the only thing that a law would do is to deny the people respectful of the law to have the tools to defend themselves against the armed criminals.

Making sure that citizens don't have to resort to crime to survive would probably be more efficient than denying them easy access to weapons, because even a pen can become one anyway. Of course making it harder on the incompetent fool would be nice.

But guns don't kill people... apparently you have a better chance to survive being shot than something that affects your entire body, such as tranquilizers and shocks.

One argument against guns is that it's only for killing. No they can make good paper weight too.

But they're still a waste of time. Make them illegal and legalize bazookas and flame throwers. When everyone is done blowing each other up, and that no one will be left to complain and argue, the world will finally have the damn peace. From us.

Guns aren't the problem. We are. We all are.

If the planet wasn't so over populated, everyone could have their own land, their own everything, and be well fed... but apparently people's happiness doesn't only depend on what they have, but to relish about what people don't have. Freaking dick heads.

So there you have it. Dicks are the problems. They over populate. They populate the word full of dicks. End the vicious cycle. Make dicks illegal.

7 items you won’t believe are actually legal at cracked. I feel so at home at that sarcastic site. Ouh~ Flame throwers are legal too! And "any laws made to stop self-made firearms would be almost unenforceable." There. You can't stop people from killing each other. Unless they're all dead.

Lisa Of Shades
7 July 2014

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Crazy woman on board

Crazy woman on board. And she's driving!

Crazy woman on board. And she's driving!

This is a parody of baby on board. As if it made people more careful. Maybe it'd motivate some people to speed up. The planet is overpopulated, there's not enough place for other people's babies.

I modified the frame of baby-on-board-sign at webweaver.

I took the woman from another poster "Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way..." at lolntroll. I agree. It's hilarious!

I got the idea because someone asked me if I have a driver license and I said “No, I’d be too dangerous”. But not because I’m a woman down there (my brain is more complex than that!) but because hypoglycemia can give me absence seizures. Not that I’m absent, I’m still aware, but I’m paralyzed for a few second and can’t respond or make some life saving moves with the wheel.

I always instinctively knew that driving would be a bad idea. It only happened on my bicycle twice, it was painful enough to remember though. Well, to the point of injury, falling… I almost got hit many times.

Women are encouraged to starve themselves to be too thin for a healthy being, so maybe they drive so bad because their brain just shuts down too… or because it’s hard to paint your freaking nails at the same time.

I think everyone drive badly, especially since they invented texting. But I guess that might kill a few humans and improve the over population problem.

Lisa Of Shades
16 July 2014

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Kidney bathtub Heart

Psychopaths. Their idea of a good one night stand is a bathtub full of ice and a cooler full of kidneys. Maybe you should get to know your partners better and avoid trying to turn on their urges entirely...

Psychopaths ~ stolen kidney ~ bathtub full of ice ~ one night stand

Also true about women, I actually mean it about me. Maybe I should show that to my next guy friend, but I bet he'll harass me sexually sooner than later anyway. Dumb dicks.

The picture is from The problem with Twitter part II: The return of the chain letter at breakfastagency. I wouldn't mind a date with that guy. I like his murderous devious eyes~ He looks playful and he probably have more to talk about than the damn sex. I bet we have lots in common! Like murderous urges. (Well, let’s face it, we all do. But some are more intense and with more interesting reasons than others.)

The art is actually about respecting boundaries, just because you'd like it doesn't mean that the person should allow it, if it could hurt them (in a way that they don't want) you have to stop, no matter how stupid their limits sound to you. You could end up in that dangerous unpleasant position about something else.

Without respect, there is no trust, and without trust, people can go ballistic on you real fast.

Ballistic: irrationally enraged... from the paranoia caused by previous inflicted pains... or exploding from the grief that they've accumulated trying to tolerate the unacceptable.

It sounds like women doesn't it? Well, "disrespect" sounds like men to me! But there are exceptions to every stereotype... You can only blame yourself. You get the effects of what you caused. And also the sum of all that came before you... you never know if your "innocent and small" abuse is going to be the final drop that shatters the person's sanity. Not all of them get depressed, some get angry, they're both healthy steps of the grieving process. The best to avoid a reaction that you don't want is to avoid messing with people entirely.

Stop bullshitting people.
There will be less shit flying around that can hit you in the face.

If someone refuses to respect you, here are some articles that greatly helped me to move on without them. You're also to blame for staying and thus allowing the abuse to continue, so act, end the pain by any means necessary: simply walk away from the cause. It's often all that it takes, the first step is to acknowledge that it's necessary for your well being, and then it gets easy.

All pages are from

"One reader, ARulesGirl2TheEnd encapsulated the whole boundary issue when she said: My mum taught me about boundaries when I was in my teens; she told me to think of it as a kind of Me Club. Set the rules of the club and when people break those rules, politely ask them to leave."

Sometimes you have to drop being polite and be plain mean even if you look crazy, it's better that than being abused and told "oh you know you liked it". If someone is going to be hurt in the stubborn war, it might as well be him (or her if she's the one trying to claw what you don't want or can't give out of you).

You can just avoid the whole drama by ignoring them completely. Avoid, ignore, forget. If they wanted to understand and better themselves, they would have respected your limits, needs, what you can offer and values (life choices) after you explained them clearly once.

I like to throw even the worse out right away, I hate games. If they can deal with it they’ll learn to know me anyway, if they can’t it’s pointless to addict them to a relationship that isn’t compatible by hiding things from them.

If they want someone perfect, they’re delusional… and it can only end well because it will be suffocating while it lasts.

You have to like both qualities and flaws before making a choice. With people as well as absolutely everything in life. Because no matter how good is the reward, you won't be able to enjoy and handle it if an equal hell comes with it... and it always does. Everything has an equal good and bad side, and it's up to you to choose the best balance and lesser evil. That's why having a simple life gives you simple pleasures but also simpler problems... while celebrities always have soul crushing dramas, with the whole world to stare avidly at their agony and shames, not just their success, and not only when it’s convenient for them.

Sometimes the good, even if it's the best, is just not worth the pain.

That article made me angry: Top 10 signs she's leading you on at askmen.

While it can certainly be true for some manipulative women, it clearly show how men are just obsessed about sex and can’t find any worth or joy in anything else, only seeing women as sperm toilets and being completely unable to enjoy their company if it doesn’t lead to sex sooner or later. And that’s a big problem not just for women, but the source of men’s problems with women too!

A woman isn’t manipulative, leading you on, or plotting anything against you if she merely enjoys your company for what it is: your company, talks and activities, and not just using you to fertilize her eggs! You should feel more manipulated by women who only care about you if you fuck them, you’re the one leading them on if you pretend to want anything else than only sex… because then you can attract women who’d gladly come to you just to share life and who they are, the way you do with your buddies. It’s like saying that women can’t be buddies, that they’re not even people; they’re a different inferior race that can only be used for urges and thrown away when done. If that’s how you think, if you think that a woman leads you on because she smile at you without sex, talk with you without sex, share your interests without sex, do activities without sex, and even cuddle affectionately without sex… If you dismiss the value of so much more in life than just plain sex, then I sure hope that the women are leading you on, because you’re plain and worthless, empty inside, close minded, and a dick. If you can’t appreciate women for the multi facetted person that she is, just like life is complex, then you deserve nothing more than being used right back. Go fuck yourself!

And this is one of the reasons why I vowed to spend my life celibate and abstinent. That's how much I have enough of men's attitude. The whole humanity actually. Girls are just as messed up, but sometimes it's for different reasons.

It’s been more than 10 years and no one could show me that they cared about anything more than just fucking my cunt and flushing their load. I really don’t feel like I’m missing something valuable, not when I hear and see other people’s drama.

But even when I'm excruciatingly clear that I'll die a virgin even if I have to kill, explaining all the medical and traumatic reasons in nightmarish details, men still try to lure me slowly anyway. Men, you can only blame your own delusions and dicks.

I had the idea to make that poster to vent my frustrations of having to give up on yet another male friendship. I wish I could have the kind of rough camaraderie that guys can have. “Comradeship: a person who shares in one's activities, occupation, etc.; companion, associate, or friend.” This would actually be mandatory in a lover, but I can’t even find friendship in a friend!!!

It’s always about sex, or waiting for sex. I blame it on dicks and stupidity, but I had a female friend with a male lover who harassed me sexually too… I became so disgusted about sex, when I already wanted nothing to do with it.

I’m a misanthrope; I want less humans, not make more!

Furthermore, my hypoglycemia and anemia tend to shut down useless functions, like reproductions, and boost the murderous hunger drive…

So I don’t have a libido, I have a “killido”.

If I can control my murder urges, you better control your sex urges.

My primal urges got blurred into my necessary hunger rage, along with intense vengeful hatred against humanity, so the only thing that seem to turn me on is seeing people die. Turn me on at your own peril...

Even if I wanted to risk an unwanted pregnancy, I can't possibly allow myself to risk the harm that it will do to my fragile health, women can die from complicated child birth. I won't risk that for some stranger or acquaintance looking for a sperm toilet, and disrespecting my limits, especially when he doesn't even care for the child that he already has!!!

Maybe men would harass females less if they could be killed in the process too… but I doubt they could control themselves either way. Weaklings don't need a reason to be weak, they will be anyway. Selfish people don't do it by ignorance and won't learn better from an explanation.

I feel a lot of affinities with the black widow spider; they eat the male to have the energy to make her offspring. Sometimes the male get away with it by offering a meal, doing sex while she eats… but I wouldn’t count on it if I were you...

I warned the guy from the start, but it didn’t last long before he harassed me sexually. What truly angers me to no end is that he tried to make it sound like it’d be a favor! For my own good! As if I was too stupid to know and decide that for myself!!!

I KNOW WHAT I NEED! And what I don't gets kicked out of my life!!!

It doesn't matter what I want, if I don't need the shit that comes along with it!!!

And he got kicked out, in silence, because I explained enough, FROM THE START, and I don't have to justify myself. It was a bit hard, but then I remembered that what I want, or fear, or loss, or heck even death, is irrelevant... what matters is what I need to be safe, healthy, and for that I need to preserve my energy and have the damn fucking peace!!!

He said that he wants to massage me with oil. It sounds innocent but nothing ever is, everything just gets bigger, like a snow ball rolling down a mountain. I know that snowball. I HATE IT! I'm not going to let him slowly crawl deeper into the rabbit hole, while I stay there passive, too stupid to notice the slow change, like a frog being boiled slowly and just sitting there while it'd be so easy and wouldn't even take much effort to jump out. I did. Hell I feel so much better!

There was many red flags, I told him several times to stop talking about sex, and he still refused laughing, ignoring me completely, just talking to himself in his own bubble, but at me, he didn't see or hear me... I had to scream on top of my lungs to make him wake up, and it took a while... What if instead of being on the phone he was in front of me. What if instead of talking he decided of doing something... That's just sick. That's just obvious that he doesn't respect my boundaries, he won't even hear me when I scream them!

The next time I called, he still didn't learn, because he harassed me for an hour to TOUCH me. That's even worse! He never accepted to drop it no matter how much I shrieked my head off, I lost it so much in blind anger that I started to laugh maniacally at the idea to kill him while I was insulting him… It wasn't a cute amused giggle... it was an opera-like psycho laugh that would scare anyone with half a brain away. I was enraged, telling him no.

But he never dropped it, not even when he finally agreed to change the subject... saying we’ll go “little by little” and “you laughed, you know you liked it”… It repulsed me so intensely that I never want to hear him again. He always disgusted me but I tried to overcome it to socialize and avoid becoming a complete reclusive psycho... Well, at least when I'm alone I have no one to kill!

Sexual predators like to say that “you know you liked it”, but even if people ADORE sex, even if it was the best fuck of their life, and the worse slut on the planet... if you walk all over her opinion, free will, dignity and choices... you DISRESPECT HER and that is so unpleasant that it turns even the best things to shit! Even masochists, people into rape roleplay, and whores, have to agree first!

No means "no", it can also mean "I'll have you thrown in jail and be ass raped by people twice your size, we'll see how you like it", and even "I'll rip off your cock with my teeth, stab your eyes with my eyeliner pen, and decapitate you with a shovel before I burry you under my roses!" Not everyone have a low self esteem, and they can actually snap from the accumulated abuse at any moment.

Just because I'm trying to be nicely polite doesn't mean that I want you! Sometimes showing my true feelings would require spitting, punching or preferably stabbing your face... I'm just trying to avoid going to jail here, not flirt with you. I just try to copy how you behave because I don't know how a sane person is supposed to act, it doesn't mean that I feel or want the same. The positive energy that you feel from me isn't my own, but yours reflected at you... it's not receptiveness but just a polite rejection. If you'd prefer the stabbing, let me know. It's true that it'd be clearer... damn laws.

Just because I want to talk with another human being doesn't mean that you can put your cock in my mouth or crotch!

Just because I talk about sex doesn't mean that I want to do it. My special interest is biology, so I don't mind talking about any body functions, but in a cold logical manner. I'd much rather dissect you than fuck you. Well, you'd sure be fucked if I dissected you. Now that'd be my kind of fucking.

And if it's leading you on (to sex) if I smile in your presence or give you the time of day, then close your eyes and go walk in the traffic!

There's enough dicks heads in this world, we need more brains!

You never know what a woman is into, so don't just grab her!!! Because some could be into knife roleplays and will cut your face for arousal purpose. Some people truly are into it, if you think I'm bad for writing and making pictures, wait until you feel their knife (*sigh* I wish, but I don't want to soil my pretty collection with your filth...)

I think that erotic knife play would be a good defence, if the asshole ends up sending his potential victim to court, after you gave him the fear of his unworthy life, or even cut him up... "I'm sorry your honnor, when he just groped me before even saying hello, I thought he was interested in sex. I guess he should have asked me my sexual preferences first, along with my name!" I guess you'd have a hard time dragging her to court if you don't know her name, so it's not just in your favor here. Remember that girls, and hurt the damn piece of failed abortion!

Abusive strangers run faster than I can hit or kill them... cowards. Not so fun when you see my sharp pointy teeth, and murderously focused animal glare, euh~ I get hungry when I'm stressed out. I'm not fat because I eat living stuff, not sugar and synthetic toxic products. When I get angry, you look like a piece of meat too, dude, but I don't want to fuck that steak, I want to shred it to death and eat it. To me, feasting isn't a metaphor for sex. So women everywhere, just get angry, primal angry, forget even your own survival, just think about murder... that look is apparently a turn off.

They might not understand no, but their primal brain sure understands the silent murderous intent coming at them. Never make a threat, that way you can't be punished before you enjoy the act, there's less likely to be witnesses, and the element of surprise adds to pain... and you get punished less when it's not premeditated, you can even plea the temporary insanity. I'm insane all the time. Self defense is my favorite though. You’re less likely to kill someone from a misunderstanding if you wait, observe and verify with the guy first by explaining what you don’t want painfully clearly. Then get rid of him. Being prepared for murder is a good way to avoid having to do it. Because it helps acknowledging who I want to kill instead of accumulating in denial like a time bomb, so I just flush them, I don’t keep people I loathe by my side.

I have zero tolerance for being harmed. Zero. And as much as I hate humanity, I'd only hurt someone in self defense if he didn't respect my boundaries. I'm open to compromises, but with MY body, I am the one and only ruler, I am my god creating MY OWN LIFE. It's my body, MY WAY or the highway. I'll hit you with your own car if I have to if you refuse to respect me. Ignoring the jerk and telling him to fuck off is less troublesome.

Sexual offenders aren’t some maniacs out of a horror movie, they’re one of the most regular guy who took his desires for reality too much. They're oblivious to your no because they refuse to believe they're being rejected, in denial with their stupid head up their asses. They justify their comments and actions in their head as being good for you or that you liked it, because they are so close minded that they think whatever they like, you should like too. Pathetic. I’d rather die, and I especially would love to kill, rather that have any form of contact with someone so repulsive.

Even if I was attracted by human beings, even if I was attracted by men, I'm not to all men just because I have a vagina!!! I am only owned by myself, and before I agree to share what's mine with someone, he better respect me, be to my liking and only I will decide if I want it!!!

Don’t be afraid to clean out the vermin even if it was good at first, food can spoil, and people can outlive their usefulness. It only leave more space for better people, who won’t be able to mess with you as much if you are ready to act if they do. If we all do it, they won’t be able to easily move on to the next victim, they’ll be cornered into having to stop their bullshit. Until then, I’ll be alone. If this is my pattern, if this is what I attract, then I’d rather be alone. It doesn’t mean that I’m lonely. I have voices in my head; they’re called thoughts and ideas, so I’m never alone~ Listen to your voice of reason, the heart doesn’t always know best. Unless he feels insulted and angry, then it’s probably for a reason.

Men, maybe you came out of your mother’s vagina, played with her boobs as much as you wanted, and she was there for your every desire at soon as you screamed… but don’t confuse every woman for your mother! She had to be there for your needs or you would have helplessly DIED!!! But even so, no mothers are obligated to care for their children, just like FATHERS, and even though it's ideal, we're not in an ideal world, not all of them do.

So you have no guaranteed access to come into my vagina! My boobs aren’t meant for your needs, they're to feed future babies. You’re a full grown man, who shouldn’t be helpless and screaming to get what he wants anymore. If you are that worthless, I don’t give a shit if you DIE!

You don’t even have a guarantee to come out of a vagina, a woman can kill you with an abortion before you get the chance, so don’t you dare think that you’re entitled to vaginas.

And with cloning, we only need an egg and a cell from a female body; we don’t even need you to perpetuate life anymore. (No wonder men put it illegal.) So you better be nice, because machines perform way better sexually, so widen what you have to offer, find desire and fulfillment in more than the lump of flesh dangling between your legs… it will make you a better person and even a better mate.

Sex always ends up being the same, just like peeing and shitting.

But knowledge gives me infinite pleasure.

With curiosity and imagination the possibilities are endless.

Not all psychopaths are blood thirsty, and it’s not being a psychopath that makes me want to kill; it’s disrespect, abuse and being ravenously hungry (like now). I’m actually an Empath, I feel other people’s emotions more than average, as if they were my own, deeply and instinctively, and I can’t turn it off…

I can’t ignore how foul people’s true intentions are even if I wanted to. I can even know more about someone than they do themselves, because they try so hard to cloak their darkest thoughts into something kind and honorable, to fool others, but they end up believing their own lies... even when it’s obvious, so they’ll still be oblivious if you try to explain them, no matter how hard you pointlessly try, so don't.

They are unable to fool me, no matter how dumb and gentle I like to look, as I camouflage my intelligence, surrounded by the average stupidity... in the hope to make the deep gap less agonizing. I'm jaded with humanity, I have such a profound disdain and hatred… it would cause too much negativity if I allowed it out.

I want to enjoy myself and my life, in spite of all the reasons that I have to be miserable, even having to swim among the turds. But if you see me smile in spite of your presence, it doesn't mean that I like your shit. I’m only trying to forget… how much I desire to kill you.

Sex kills, but not quickly enough. I'd rather use a long weapon that would allow me to stay away, yet close enough to see the agony on your face, like a katana or an axe.

I should really go get something to eat; my primal instincts are getting twitchy with blood lust.

That’s probably the only reason why men buy women food before the act, to avoid seeing them have the reflex to bite down from hunger. Not by kindness, that’s for sure. It's like an indirect payment to a whore. Maybe you should ask for the money if you're going to act like one anyway. Both genders deserve each other's bullshit. I prefer to stay out of that sex game and "love" market entirely. If I can’t satisfy the bloody urges that I want, I sure as hell won’t force myself to satisfy other people’s sex urges when I don’t even want to bother my own.
I owe the human world nothing except a bloody vengeance. So feel grateful when I give your world nothing. It's not only about what is contributed, but also what is destroyed. Getting "love" is pointless if it hurts your self esteem and even body. Getting sex is pointless if it gives you a deadly disease, and unwanted baby for life in exchange for a few minutes (seconds) of sloppy orgasm. Food is pointless if it gives you colon cancer. A cell phone is pointless if it destroys your brain.

If something makes its very purpose worse, you don't need it, wanting it will never be in your best interest and can only result in pain.

Machines are superior in every ways. They can't give you a disease, get you pregnant, harass you when you don't want, cheat on you, be flaccid when you want sex or are about to come... and men only pretend to give affection to lure women into sex, they neglect and even hit... they abandon you when you need them most after they messed you up... I see nothing positive in men, couples, even women, humanity, and love doesn't exist. Sex is to make more humans, I can respect not killing them, but making more is outrageous and totally unacceptable to me.

I hate what human made of their world, I can't stop them, but thankfully I can make my own. I can live my own way.

I don't have to follow your stupid majority. If I have to be abnormal and even an outcast to be free, to keep my dignity, to be me, to avoid having unwanted things forced on me... I don't mind being by myself. It's liberating. It's a small price to pay, especially considering that I'm even ready to kill to be safe if I have to; but since I always walk away from dangerous situations, I never have to.

I'm stubborn with what I need, but not what I want. I'd never blindly try to hold on to pleasure at the peril of my safety, if it's harmful, then the positive is a lie.

Rapists are usually the people you know, because you give them the opportunity. Even your own spouse. Especially your own spouse.

I wasn't born to be anyone's bitch. I was born to live.

If I have to go to the extreme solitude to stop people from fucking with me, so be it. I actually enjoy the peace and quiet.

It makes it easier to think, you should try it, you might finally end up figuring out your needs and wants, ending up noticing that you’ve been shooting yourself in the foot all along, wasting your energy in the wrong direction, with the wrong people.

Hopefully you’ll notice before they run away with your kidneys, from a scalpel or accumulated exhaustion. See my section about Adrenal Fatigue for more information about that.

Lisa Of Shades
3 August 2014

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I see dead people

Because I killed them!

My grandmother killed them. She knitted a blanket with their skin and she forces me to sleep with it. It stinks. It smells like rotten old people.

I see dead people ~ Because I killed them ~ The sixth sense

I see dead people ~ Flesh blanket ~ The sixth sense

From the movie The sixth sense. The first is self explanatory. The second... what's up with this pink flesh looking blanket?

My favorite version is "I see stupid dumb. They're everywhere and they don't know they're dumb."

Lisa Of Shades
3 August 2014

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Twilight Sparkle Edward

The Twilight Saga.
The creators must really hate vampires. They probably snorted sparkles to be so out of their minds. Have some respect for those with porphyria or anemia!

Twilight Sparkle Edward ~ pony vampire

I'm too tired to put the so many references for the pictures. I did a triple joke... poor real vampire. His eyes are bleeding from watching Edward sparkling. The kid is way scarier... and cuter too. In the movie Daybreakers a little girl commit suicide by watching a sunrise, I can totally imagine her being a fan of Twilight just wanting to sparkle: "Edward, you lied to me! *shrieks and dies*"

They're so full of themselves, but they have no spark, no fire, no soul... and not in an undead kind of way, more like brain dead. But not in the good zombie way.

Twilight: Edward.
My little pony: Twilight Sparkle.
Christopher Lee as Dracula (1958).
30 Days of Night.

I have anemia, it got much better with B12 and vitamin C; but I had to live with the constant fear of loosing control of a murderous blood lust. Hypoglycemia does that too, but the mindless berserk rage of it reminds me of werewolves more... so I'm kinda like both.

Nutrients improved it a lot. Maybe the B complex, D3… but most probably the vitamin C above all else. If you spray citrus juice on a slice of apple, it will protect it from oxidation (browning from the oxygen... burning) so it makes sense that my supplements is what made the sun more bearable. I went out in the warmest time of the day long ago and I was so in pain that I wanted to shriek my head off.

My eyes are sensitive to light too. A test for adrenal fatigue is to look at the iris contraction, since you can't control those muscles by sheer will; it shows how much you struggle to find the energy. They always stay big or oscillate and then open. I also seem to have photosensitive epilepsy; it’s rare even among epileptics. Thankfully I don't have convulsions, but lights still hurt.

The most difficult would be to have porphyria (at mayoclinic),unlike anemia which is a lack of red blood cells, it's a heme problem. It can apparently disfigure someone. It's thought to be at the root of the legend, along with Vlad the impaler, but even low thyroid can cause symptoms that are similar. I have that too~ But, as much as I wondered a long time if I have porphyria, I don't seem to have the worse part, but I can sympathize.

Maybe vampire movies give people with porphyria a bad reputation. But I'd rather be feared as a blood thirsty maniac than be branded with the shame that Twilight did to the vampires.

There are a lot of genuine medical issues that make people endure the problems that vampires have to deal with… and when you’re in pain, it feels like your life doesn’t have a sweet end… I feel immortal, but it's not as wonderful as people think. I do enjoy looking forever young though... It'd be even better without my skin issues.

But there are no symptoms that make you sparkle in the sun... or burst into flames... But I do find an annoyance with being told about Jesus, and I'm terrified of religious fanatics because they can't be reasoned with and want to destroy everything that doesn't fit THEIR plan and THEIR one narrow minded "truth". But I like Gregorian chants.

When I saw Edward sparkle in the movie... I felt so insulted. I've been embarrassed to say that I like vampires since then. I feel sorry for all the people who'll see that as their first vampire movie and stay hooked thinking that it's the best... it's not and far from it.

There are such great vampire movies. The first I saw was Fright Night, the remake was good too. I particularly loved "Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula (2000)", "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter", "Daybreakers" (the vampires are the majority).

If it’s my health or another’s blood and life… why should I be the least important? I’m living my own life, not other’s. Of course I’d pick the least trouble… supplements are less problematic than jail. But vegetables are alive too! We need to eat life to perpetuate life. Nothing disappears, nothing truly dies, and it’s merely transformed. Their cells join the collective of cells that I am. Welcome to the collective~ *thirsty grins* I'm going to lead my own existence.

I don't need to snort sparkles, I'm naturally like this~

Lisa Of Shades
6 August 2014

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Welfare Jason Voorhees bible

"Excuse me, would you like to buy the Bible? It makes an excellent coaster and can fix wobbly furniture. No? Ok then plan B. I’ll take your BLOOD!"
Welfare. Not created by generosity and compassion, but to prevent robbery with murderous desperation.

Welfare Jason Voorhees bible

Jason from nightmareonelmstreet.wikia, magnificent scenery from patiodesigndepot.

I made a disturbing text to go with it, but I managed to keep the poster shorter.

Sure, I could do a lot of jobs:
  • I could be have my own business, as a beggar, and harass you to give me money, so you can feel like a better person or at least less guilty, every time you go out.
  • I could do telemarketing and call you early in the morning.
  • I could be a door to door salesman and harass you in person early in the morning when you plan to sleep in during the week ends.
  • I could be a priest and rape little kids.
  • I could be a drug seller, addicting people into ruin until they end up homeless, sick and dead. (I guess I could be a medical doctor too, same thing.)
  • I could kidnap the women you like and sell them to a prostitution ring.
  • I could be a thief, invade your home with an axe and cut you in pieces.
But I chose to accept to let you pay me the bare necessities indirectly, marching a fragile line between survival and misery.

Aren’t you happy that I leave you the hell alone and give you the damn peace~?

Let me know if I’m wrong and if you have a decent opportunity for me. People get hired based on contacts, not talent or sheer will power. So I can’t find what’s not there just because I want to. There’s a limit to what someone can do alone.

No matter how much I believe in myself, it's pointless if no one else will.

No matter how talented I am, it's pointless if there's no need for it.

Wanting too much, to prove myself, working 100h a week and still not get paid for my good work... until I could barely walk, so weak that I couldn't even sit and had to struggle to breathe...

I'm so furious now, to see how much it's a lie that we get what we deserve, that it's a lie that if we try hard enough we'll succeed... be damn grateful if I don't do anything at all... with all the pain that I have to return.

I don't see how feeding people junk food until they get sick would make me a better person. I don't see why people want to have children in a world like this. If the land can truly feed us all, then why do we have to torture ourselves with long mindless pointless jobs, more than humanly possible... when machines were supposed to make life easier, but we need more jobs to afford them... Hundreds of dollars just to have communication devices... when we can't even talk face to face.

They tell teenagers not to give up school... but maybe they're intelligent enough to notice that, just like their parents never wanted them, society doesn't want their talents either... and they don't have the support, resources and opportunities to bloom their potential...

And this... is why I'm so angry... At society, at my parents, at myself... I always thought that I owed the world my skills, with my big IQ, after being in special classes for the gifted... I didn't want to waste what I could do... I wanted to serve the collective, to be useful, to make my life worth it.

But people don't want it... they don't want what I have to offer. It’s strange, unusual... and it could be all the more rare and precious, but they see it as defective, because while I have strength that they don't, I have weaknesses that they don't either... but all they see is the shortcomings...

There are far better people at what I could do... with more connections, social skills, more lovable...

With all my talents and skills, my beauty, my charisma, my will power... I couldn't make it... I shattered trying to do more than humanly possible... trying to reach an idea that everyone wants, but that no one should be able to get... When I was already sick, already the one who needed help... but I felt like I had to prove my worth.

I've been exploited and abused, in every possible ways.

But I am to blame... because I put myself last... because I thought that my life needed to be approved... because I thought that I owed something to the world. I never did.

I owe to myself to survive, to fight by every means necessary, but also to conserve my energy.

People wouldn't pay me to work like a slave... changing their minds on a whim and refusing to pay for it... trying to steal my very time and life when they overflowed with profits and that I didn't have enough to eat...

Now society pays me to do nothing. To rest under fur blankets, to watch animes all day. They owe it to me.

I would have preferred to be killed... than be denied to be part of a life... than have to watch from the sidelines... all the things that I wish I could earn, that I did deserve, but that I was still denied... Even medical care and the police protection.

Maybe it would have been otherwise if I was born wanted. The only thing that matters is that I want my life now. I never asked for it in the first place, why would I have to earn it? I only need to fight to protect it.

My mother did lots of studies and she ended up on the minimum salary cleaning garbage. While others who quit school went in a factory and got huge salaries for effortless work after being there for years.

Intelligence and talent is no guarantee of success.

But not putting our own health as a priority is a guarantee for disaster.

I feel like I failed my talents, myself and society... but in a way this failure is the greatest success of my entire life. Because it taught me to live... and thanks to my talents, I could at least save myself.

I simply do not want to spread the agony that I felt in this world... Maybe it's a better goal than being rich while ruining people.

I guess all my choices, as limited as they were after all, lead me to this.

I have to admit... I've never been happier.

Even with the constant terror of ending up staving and homeless, since I'm too sick to fend for myself... but all I can do is try to rebuild my health and live the best I can... and I'm doing it. I'm even enjoying it!

It's strange how the greatest failure of my life... is my greatest success. I'm finally safe, I finally learn to take care of myself first, I finally have the damn peace free of abuse and violence... and all I had to do to earn everything... was nothing. But to take it!

If it wasn’t for welfare… I’d probably be doing horrible things to survive.
I don’t know why society wants to pay if I do nothing but not if I work harder than humanly possible… but I think I can live with that. And my talents… I appreciate them for my own benefit everyday~ It’s too bad for the rest of the world… but I can only shoulder and control my own life. If society wants to pay me for what I don’t do, instead of what I can do, I think it’s a waste, but I’m very grateful anyway.

Lisa Of Shades
6 August 2014

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Conformity is the death of the soul. Goths don’t have to worry about that. They sold their soul to Satan long ago. To be able to afford their expensive clothes~

Goths ~ Conformity is the death of the soul.

It's from another demotivational poster: "Conformity. The harder you try to show your “individuality”, the more you look like everybody else."

I added Satan from patheos. I added the hand with the annoying peace sign that people use to give people bunny ears in photos, and the tail. I added a zombie hand coming out of the grave from photosclub.

I found a site with jokes about Satan turned into a utter cuteness probably is even scarier, at kawaii-satan-chan. It's amazing in a fun and disturbing way~

I went to a Gothic shop and I saw a plain black shirt with this quote "Conformity is the death of the soul." and beside it... was a dozen of other shirts... exactly the same... cheap yet overpriced. I walked out of the shop.

But I do appreciate the irony~ Conforming to anti-conformist still counts as conformism.

But I don't think Goths dress like that to show their individuality, but to show that they like darkness. I know I do. I know I'm not the only one. I just plain hate hypocritical polite correctness, shoving your head up your ass, pretending that everything is nice when life isn't supposed to be. I want to look at Death in the face and laugh saying "that was fun". I want to take the right to be sad, angry, in pain and to defend myself with violence if I feel it’s necessary for my safety. I don't want a mindless life full of bunny and sunshine, and vegetarian lions (I got a religious pamphlet about that. Damn Jehovah witnesses.), and I don't know what else.

Life is hard, life is messy, and the faster you accept that, the more you'll feel genuine pleasure. You don't have to be a masochist for that though. But everyone have their own limits and preferences. I don't have to agree with everything, I don't need drugs to open my mind and relax. I sure as hell won't cut myself on purpose. But I understand the appeal.

My soul is dark, so dark that even Goths were troubled by my mind. Some are just like hippies but dressed in black... some want to embrace a more gracious era beyond time, some probably did sell their soul to Satan. I first wrote "gave" and "Lucifer" instead because it sounds more devoted and poetic, but it sounds better with a bunch of S making hissing sounds. Lucifer is a fallen angel; Satan might be someone different and a pure demon. I bet there are endless versions.

I surrendered to my own darker reality, I embraced evil ways to protect myself... I didn't sell my soul to the darkness; I gave it and embraced it. Because my soul belongs there, because my soul is dark.

But just like everything else, I have an equal part of light to balance it. In fact, the better of a person I tried to be, the more I got abused by people, the more darkness grew in me to fight it... and when I noticed that this evil was simply survival, out of self love, I let it out... and because I was willing to defend myself at any cost (paid by the others)... I didn't need to anymore. People catch on real quick when you have Death itself in your eyes.

I like Victorian dresses. I have gothic clothes. But I think there are a time and a place for everything. I don’t like the unwanted attention; people touched me out of the blue. What the hell is up with that!? I’m into gore what do you think I’ll do to you if you disrespect my personal space! This is MY body. I’m not a flower. I can punch your face if you try to pick me up.

I don't know if I'm Goth, probably more than some, and less than people who only embrace that style all the time.

But I don't need to follow any trend to be and express who I am. I can just mix whatever I want~

Lisa Of Shades
10 August 2014
Edited photo: 12 August 2014

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Penny every time

Pennies make dollars. If I had a penny every time someone made me want to kill them, I’d be able to buy my way out of jail by now.

If I had a penny every time someone made me want to kill them

Penny picture from commons.wikimedia. Nice blood splatters at clipartbest.

Damn I just remembered that I wanted to use the frame from X-men, when Magneto kills with a Nazi penny. Oh well... it shows how you can hamass a fortune one small bit of money at a time, or ruin yourself spending it on small cheap trash.

Lisa Of Shades
10 August 2014

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Cthulhu make over

Suicide. Success rate with a shotgun: 99%. The other 1% can win a Cthulhu make over. If not, better luck next time! Suicide is a permanent solution (to a temporary problem) to make your problems worse. If you think you have insurmountable ordeals now, wait until you try dating and getting a job with a squid face. For your last meal, try a healthy vegetables & meat soup. If being well fed for once doesn’t change your mind, thank you for leaving the planet less overpopulated.

Failed suicide shotgun ktulu face (cthulhu)

I took the demon from sw.top1walls. Cthulhu or Ktulu (wikipedia): "a fictional deity created by writer H. P. Lovecraft and first introduced in the short story The Call of Cthulhu". Metallica made a song with the same name.

I used the guy for my suicide tutorial in the page Gun shot. I took the image from pikdit.

I wanted to make a poster out of it ever since, and now I did~ I couldn't choose an idea so I put them all.

Lisa Of Shades
10 August 2014

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Hitler ~ Heil Japan! Heart Heart Heart

Heil Japan! If this looks like a Nazi flag to you, you need to enjoy more animes, videogames, sushi and all the amazing contributions to technology that they brought to the world. The flag represents a nation, not discrimination! If you hate it and want it gone, you’re the racist! Korea, if you want to forbid anything that reminds you of your shameful loss during a long gone war, are you going to ban the freaking sun too!!!?

Korea wants to ban the Japanese flag. Their invasion wasn't a Holocaust. ~ Hitler.

Here's the full text that I wished to put:

"If this looks like a Nazi flag to you, you need to enjoy more animes, videogames, sushi, and all the amazing contributions to technology that they brought to the world.

Korea, losing a war against another country isn’t the same as being the victim of extermination by a group in your own territory. The flag doesn’t represent discrimination but a nation! If you want to forbid anything that reminds you of your shame, are you going to ban the freaking sun too!!!?

Have some dignity in your loss, instead to act like losers even more. Your country got better after Japan’s occupation.

Actually Germany got better after the Nazis too. Apparently, torturing Jews to death created jobs and redistributed wealth more fairly, and that was good for the economy. The way Jews think about outsiders, maybe it was a necessary preemptive strike.

Japan was the ally of Germany during the war, but at least they weren’t making enemies the way you do by pretending that you invented what they did.

Japan can invade me anytime they want. All day and all night long~"

The Holocaust was a brutal racist extermination, not a "regular" war invasion!

I got the idea after learning of the outrageous and angering demand made by Korea against the Japanese flag. Comparing it to the Nazi's is really going too far! It mocks the hardship that real victim went through as they try to oppress their mere rival. You’re really lame if your only way to get recognition from the public is with pity instead of skill, culture and arts.

YouTube: Must the Rising Sun Flag be Banned?

The Olympian’s suit didn't even look like the flag! Korea is the one doing discrimination by oppressing Japan until they hide their identity! Since they can't rise from their shadow, they try to crush their tower of greatness!

As if trying to steal credit from their achievements, and trying to do the promotion of such lies during festivals, wasn't insulting enough!

YouTube: Endangered Japan: Book1: A Cultural War

It shows how curshed Korea was under China's rule, and how better off they were taken care of and encouraged to develop their own culture by Japan. But Korea didn't... they did the same unoriginal and soules thing as they did with China, but this time they tried to claim that they created it and that Japan got it from them!

But I never heard of the way they named it, so one thing for sure, they didn’t do a very good job at promoting their culture! That point goes to Japan. And it becomes very obvious that they stole the idea with Ranma ½, a manga that they called Ranma 1/3, which makes no sense because he change sex from a curse when splashed by hot or cold water. He’s half woman half man. What’s the 3rd sex, tentacles? But actually it exists and it’s a mix of both. But I don’t think that the manga is about that, and I seriously doubt that it was first intended to be called that way.

About the sex joke at the end of the longer version, I wanted to express my love for Japan. Well, I don't condone rape, that's horrible... Even though I understand the animalistic idea of winning the mates of a leader that you conquer as spoils of war.

But that video broke my heart:
YouTube: "Herstory" Comfort Women Animation - English

It's about a Japanese girl... Her father refused to give pots to be forged into weapons, just by principle, he said “over my dead body”. Well, he died in jail and his daughter was falsely convinced to go work for 2 years in a shop in exchange for his release… which never happened… and it turned out to be outside of the country as a whore for soldiers… That’s just plain horrible. But the Japanese flag has nothing to do with it. Well, I sure hope that the pots were worth his life and his daughter’s dignity… I don't think so... I guess he loved his pride more than his daughter. He refused to see her in jail, if he hadn't done that, she would have discussed the working offer with him and would have found out that it was a scam and never heard of it. He didn't deserve his daughter's love. I feel sorry about what happened to her.

Don’t blame a flag, don’t even blame a country… blame people.

I knew nothing about Korea, but now I know that they are assholes.

Apparently Nazi fashion is popular in Japan. I think it looks very dignified. I'm so sick of all the drama against Nazis, even having to change buttons because their brown texture had cracks that reminded people of the Swastika (Nazi cross logo). In the manga Blade of the immortal, they precise that it means strenght and that Hitler took it from Buddhism and used it reversed.

Wikipedia about Swastika: "It is a symbol among the ancient Celts, Indians, and Greeks, as well as in later Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism, and Nazism, among other cultures and religions. The word swastika derives from the Sanskrit roots su ("Good"), asti ("to be"), and ka (making)"

So banning the nazi cross is also ridiculous, it's like banning "Good to be making". What should be reproachable is doing it by butchering people and other things that break the laws against human rights. But focussing on a logo make people forget the true issues. Maybe that's what they want. They should fight against ALL cultural discrimination as a "never again" outcry in all humanity, not start a war against flags and look the other way when another race gets kicked, or looking down on all other races but their own themselves!!! Jews do it by claiming that they were chosen by god. It's absurd! Then it means that god chose you to be slaves in Egypt and massacred by Nazis. Maybe he did for a reason. He never said what he chose you for. He let his son be tortured to death, so I guess he loves you like his own child, uh~ It worked out the way you wanted then.

At least Hitler tried to clean the putrid race that is ours. At least Japan spread so much beloved stuff in the world.

I never heard anything good from Jew or Korea.

All I heard about Jews is how they put money before people’s safety without a heart. Well, firing me one week before Christmas showed me that the stereotype was right. And I always had to fight to get my paycheck. I’m grateful that they hired me, they were nice people, but it doesn’t change the fact that I personally experienced that their stereotype about money… is apparently true.

The 5 most absurdly offensive theme weddings ever planned at cracked. The man is very handsome in his Nazi uniform. Japan was friends with Germany, it doesn't mean the same to them. It probably just means discipline and conquering adversity.

And they're just CLOTHES. The husband didn't torture a jew for his wedding, that would have been awful no matter what he wore! The clothes aren't the issue!

And what pisses me off so much is that the people who complain about the Nazi and Japaneese flag WEREN'T EVEN BORN WHEN IT HAPPENED! They've never seen a nazi soldier, how can they tell that the uniform is accurate! They argue on principle... not because it offends them or hurt them... but because they want to crush another culture's right to express their identity... and playing victim to get pity and approval is the most vicious manipulation.

And what pisses me off so much is that the people who complain about the Nazi and Japanese flag WEREN'T EVEN BORN WHEN IT HAPPENED! They've never seen a Nazi soldier, how can they tell that the uniform is accurate! They argue on principle... not because it offends them or hurt them... but because they want to crush another culture's right to express their identity... and playing victim to get pity and approval is the most vicious manipulation. Because it mocks actual victims. Because it’s done by discrimination. Because it’s done to oppress and crush people WHO NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!!

Stop whining about flags and fashion... And start respecting other people's differences! That's the real issue here! And as you focus on the identity of a group, instead of the wrong actions of individuals,
you're doing discrimination too!

You can't stop people from being assholes, you can only control yourself and not be assholes yourselves! And wanting to ban the representation of people's nation or even ideas... that's not right. Who cares what flag or clothes they use as long as they're good people. If you truly want to eradicate everything that reminds you of cruelty... then you'll have to do worse than the Nazis, you'll have to exterminate the whole human race. Because the desire to oppress others is in ALL OF US! And those who do by playing victim when they never were... are just a bunch of hypocrites that should be thrown in a mass grave.

But again... everyone is doing that too.

Grunge Japanese flag from

Hitler is from the Hellsing manga, but I don't have the source.

There's irony in this article: Japan: high tech image, low tech reality at edinburghnapiernews. Students use blankets because most people don't even have heat in winter... almost everything is made by hand and in cash... and hospitals close the week end. So damn... let them have their flag! They need blankets.

YouTube: Reconquista : Federal Court rules school can ban American Flag shirts on U.S. Soil (Feb 28, 2014)

American flag banned in American by minorities, because they find it offensive, even though they're wearing their own! Now that's offensive for so many reasons. If defending your own rights, in your own country, against hypocritical discrimination, make you a racist… then those races deserve it!!! Stop using the race card to do so much shit to others, THAT’S WHY WE HATE YOU!!!

If you don't like it, go the hell back in the shit hole you came from. If you like the country welcoming you as a citizen, then don't spit in your host's face!



Hell, I love Hitler. I freaking LOVE HITLER!

If you justify the problematic bullshit that you do to the majority by claiming it’s in your race, NO WE DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT YOUR CRAP NO MATTER THE REASON! You just invite some pissed off person to strangle all your kids with their own umbilical cords!!! If you claim that not being civil with others is in your genes, then the only way to get rid of the problem is to get rid of your race! You just make racism worse by trying to use political correctness as a weapon to get away with shitting in people’s faces.

YOU create racism in the first place!!! YOU are the racists! Claiming special treatment because of your race is a proof that YOU look down on others, it's the proof of YOUR racism, not other people's oppression! Accept to share and you won't feel so oppressed. You can't expect to be the dominant opinion in another people's country! If you want to take over and invade, THEN HAVE THE GUTS TO FIGHT DIRECTLY!

Instead to try to manipulate people into feeling guilty to defend their own land and customs. Grabs a weapon, make an honest war, and face the death that you deserve.

Fuck people doing discrimination disguised as victims. Fuck you.

That’s why I gave up political correctness. I’d rather fight for what’s right, even if it doesn’t look pretty, and not have my kindness manipulated and abused.

If your country was so freaking great, you wouldn't have left it, we'd be in yours living off your crumbs. And if you were such great people, you wouldn't have lost the war, you'd be the ones doing the invasion.

Fucking losers. DIE! Hitler was right. Exterminate them all. No more people, no more bullshit. He shouldn't have shown any mercy. No one should have survived. He actually showed kindness and mercy.

Just blow up the planet. It can't be saved.

Enjoy while you still can~

Actually even the Nazi flag doesn’t represent racism but a group of people who just happen to be racist. Why force them to hide it. Don’t you want to know which people to stay the hell away from? The people who want to hate you don’t need a flag to do it! Dumbass.

I think the Nazi flag is quiet pretty actually. Even if someone used it to strangle another, the flag itself is blameless.

Enjoy flags.

EDITED: Hayabusa pulls controversial 'Rising Sun' gi off market at mmashare. Drawing of kids playing with nazi flags and other nations: Naka yoshi sangoku. See how friendly and happy they all are~ Just don’t be their enemy...

Lisa Of Shades
7 September 2014
EDITED: 26 October 2014

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Deadpool: Talkative

Talkative. Oh~? So my long fancy words are too much for you, uh!
Challenge accepted. FYI ~ FU ~ DIE ~ LOL. Tacos. BANANA!

For your information, fuck you. Die. Fuck yeah! Mwahaha! Tacos. BANANA! ~ Talkative Deadpool

The full text would be: For your information, fuck you. Die. Fuck yeah! Mwahaha! Tacos. BANANA!

I don't know what to use for fuck you. I can use FY or FU, and it can mean Fuck Yeah and Fucked UP instead.

Internet Acronyms Dictionary at gaarde says FY, like I first thought. The urban dictionary says FU and that it can also be "The worst grade you can get in a class at my school: An F in academics and unsatisfactory or U in citizenship. FU. Coincidence? I think not."

I'll just use both. Die ends up in the center, nice! Taco is a food that Deathpool like and in my videogame he screams BANANA! out of cheerful madness. Oh! I just noticed that my site’s name is an homage to Deadpool! I’m so happy! Bananapoop is a pun for bullshit. And it reminded me of the stoopid monkey at the end of Robot Chicken too. I actually hate bananas, but I feel better now.

I thought that I could talk like a n00b but preferred to be literate, but I guess I don't know the knowledge of the deliberate fools. A fancy talking machine of doom is who I am.

The deadpool wallpaper is from zerochan. They have a lot of great pictures of Wade Wilson. Including a sexy maid suit.

Description of Deadpool at intothewastebaske, with a cool demotivational poster about common sense: “Shhh. My common sense is tingling." So rare it's a god damn super power.

I always thought that a Deadpool meant a pool full of corpses, but apparently it’s a bet on who’s going to die first, or something. Not him that’s for sure, he survived being beheaded. Ah~ the cruel irony because Lady Death is his girlfriend~

He talks to his thought bubble, to the reader and is aware of a reality oblivious to the other characters. A complete nut job that actually has more clarity than anyone else! I’d rather be in conscious madness than ignorant bliss too~ I love you Deadpool! You’re the only character who can amuse me so much~ The murdering sure is entertaining. And messing with people’s minds~

I thought of that reply after some people complained that I talk too much. But that wasn’t the problem, it’s what I said. I told the story of how I cut my toe when taking out the trash barefoot. The vision of horror hurt them and freaked them out, the weaklings.

I would have apologized right away, if the person who was outraged was the one I shared it with, but I knew that he likes mind blowing stories, so I shared a real one that was happening to me.

But when people read something that was CLEARLY specified to be for SOMEONE ELSE, they can only blame themselves if they don’t like it. I don’t want to live in a world of polite correctness, where everyone is the same and have to talk about sunshine. The sun hurts me!!!

I like the adrenalin rush of having my mind messed with, and others do too. But when all is said and done, everything is just thoughts, so it’s all the same to your body. Words can hurt you, and not just your mind, your whole body too.

Just think of Hannibal Lecter’s hypnotic voice. He made someone cut off his own face and feed it to the dogs. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” He was probably stone. Kids, see what happens when you do drugs.

Words and ideas damage your body physically in different ways than having an actual fork stabbed in your eyes, but still in a deep way. Your eye is fine, but the trauma to your adrenals is similar, even though it doesn't last as long before you realize that your eye is actually fine. The energy reaches you and aggression has an effect. The same way that reading *hugs* makes you feel warm and fuzzy. Intent alone can harm, feelings alone can kill. That's why it's important to keep your own in check!

Don’t waste that vital energy unless it’s really necessary. Being addicted to anger feels good, but it only kicks your adrenals to give you a boost of adrenalin, it makes them tired and WEAKER. It’s not a long run solution to produce more energy. Rest and nutrition is. But not coffee.

The adrenal glands have to produce adrenalin for energy just the same, whether it’s physical or mental, real or not, loved or hated. It can exhaust them, and then it does a domino effect with the other endocrine glands, which shuts down all vital organs… So you can PHYSICALLY hurt someone with words, even from far away~

It can even kill. But of course it takes a lot of time, since it’s a death by a thousand cuts. When the harm surpasses the body’s ability to heal, from nutrition and rest, it doesn’t matter how small was the cuts, if there are countless of them... and too many to heal.

Psychological violence is still violence. That’s why bullying is so dangerous, it’s like murdering very slowly. I raise fishes, harassed ones get sick and die.

But you have to stop taking personal everything that people say. If you intrude in a conversation, don’t expect that it will be to your liking. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and even if you’re god, fuck you! I’ll do what I want and say what I want. I’m limited enough by laws and my own rules, I won’t kiss the ass of someone who can’t enjoy a good story, or at least learn from it…

Kids don’t walk barefoot outside, at least not while taking out the trash. You don’t want to learn why the hard way… by slicing off your toe and bleeding all over the place. I put the small piece of flesh back on, and my body accepted it! I’m like freaking Deadpool! It stopped the bleeding I caused, when I dig in the wound with my nails, to remove the tiny black rocks. It was painful… and yet pleasurable in its own way~ You’re feeling the pain now, aren’t you~ Hehehe.

Enjoy! I sure do~

Lisa Of Shades
9 September 2014

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Toe VS glass

Toe VS glass. "*Barfs* Eeek!!! So much blood... everywhere... *hides*" Taking out the trash barefoot is not a good idea. I had to dig small rocks out of the wound with my nails. The ache felt like a needle hammering through my bone. Which was kinda pleasurable in its own way~ But I’d never hurt myself on purpose. It healed nicely thanks to green vegetables, vitamin C supplements, alkaline "Grey celtic sea salt" & bicarbonate. Instead to rot off, as seen for diabetics, who feed on refined sugars void of vitamin C.

Taking out the trash barefoot. Glass cut toe. Blood. Googly eyes.

Story: How I cut my toe

I haven't used this section in a while. But I have to share some crazy story about how I cut my toe. (That no one will read, but it's ok, I need to express myself.)

I went to take out the trash barefoot. The voice in my head warned me that it was a bad idea (probably because I had a lot of broken glass in one of the bags now that I think about it…) But I didn’t listen because I was hoping to ground myself by walking on the earth directly and exchange build up energy for some natural ones.

I pet this most awesome cat for a long time, but I thought that I was just standing on a pointy rock. I didn’t know that a piece of my toe was actually sliced off.

I came back home staining my white bathroom carpets… then I saw the equivalent of a horror movie. I put my right feet on top of my left to escape the rocks, so I bled all over it… then I noticed that the strange pinch came from the other foot… and it was gruesome.

I got scared to look… I thought it was just a cut… but then I noticed that the shape was different, the curve was more like a square… I walked in garbage so this was bad… I took a bath. But the hot water felt more painful than ever. I usually can withstand very hot water, it made me wonder if boiling myself as I usually do was in fact hurting me all along… A hot bath sure feels good though… but not on a severed toe. I put cold water, hoping that it would avoid swelling.. Nah I wasn’t thinking that far at the time, it was just to avoid pain… but now that I think about it, my body is clever to have tortured me to get cold water instead of hot, to reduce the swelling.

I thought of going back down with shoes and looking for my missing piece of flesh. But I would have filled my shows with blood and I had to put my feet up ASAP because gravity was sucking my fluids out. I wondered if I should go to the hospital to get stitches… but they would probably just drug me and fry my kidneys and I need them to live. The pain isn’t the problem; it helps me avoid more damage…

But when I looked at it, I noticed that the piece of flesh was still on. I had to pull it up to try to remove the small stones. It was 1cm wide, but 1-2mm deep, which is deep considering that it’s skin. But it wasn’t skin anymore, it was a hole of flesh…

Eventually, with the help of saliva, the bleeding stopped. In animals, the saliva speeds up the healing process. It’s at least thicker than water, and sticky, so blood pours out more slowly and it helps coagulation.

But then I noticed some more stones… I ripped out the skin to get them. It restarted to bleed so much that I searched for the skin in my long piece of bloody toilet paper… and sticked it back there… and it stayed there! Flesh is amazing when you think of it.

The severed cells were still alive and glad to came back so they joined hands with my other cells… I got hurt before and the flesh stayed for a while before eventually peeling off when new layers got ready. But I wonder if it fell off now… Blood seems to have poured all over it, I have a nice crust. Which I’m so happy to see because it stops the bleeding.

It was so bad, it was like having a period on my toe. And now it aches. Throbbing and sometimes it’s like someone shove a needle deep in my toe to the bone. Women have to endure that 1 week a month, ¼ of the weeks… ¼ of their lives… If they live 100 years they bleed and are in pain for 25 years! If you’re a man and feeling squeamish at my story, don’t you dare think that women are weak. Ha!

I’m taking a lot of vitamin C, an extra 5 gram to my usual 4, to help healing. The reason diabetics rot and lose limbs isn’t really the sugar, but because they lack vitamin C… which is why they crave too much sugar but they use candies and cake instead of vegetables and fruits, and they only provide too much sugar and no vitamin C, so the body claim for more sweet stuff, and keep getting the worthless options…

I also put lots of salt in my water. I use Grey Celtic Sea Salt, so it’s alkaline instead of acidic. It will help disinfect my blood, without the horror of putting it straight on the wound, which won’t reach the inside. But I did pat it with baking soda… it hurt less than boiling water, but still sting. The salt also helps make some more blood by retaining water, and calm my adrenals.

So I’m going to have a new toe soon, but if I don’t feed myself right I could lose it… But I’ll be fine; vitamin C will give weapons to my white blood cells to fight infection. But until it heals, pain will be my new friend.

I wrote in a story that a character with quick healing lost his ability from painkillers, because his body no longer knew that he had to mobilize materials to rebuild. He has to move flesh from one part to the other so he can’t grow back an arm out of thin air. But with enough time and nutritious meals, even I will be able to grow back my flesh. Thankfully the integrity isn’t damaged to the point that I’d miss a limb… but you have to be amazed at how wonderful the body is. Thanks love, sorry I didn’t listen to your warnings. I’ll make sure to remember, and with the pain, you’ll make sure that I remember the lesson.

The end~

Googly eyes from factorydirectcraft.

I wish I had a picture of my feet full of blood to show you that it was worse than it seems in that photo. But I was a bit busy freaking out at how much blood I was spreading everywhere to grab my camera. I flipped the picture upside down to make my super short nails look like mouths. I'm flexible but not that much...

I immortalized my stupidity to send a message to diabetics to satisfy their sugar cravings with sweet vegetables and fruits, instead of synthetic junk products. The body doesn’t crave raw sugar, he doesn’t want you to eat a bag of sugar with a spoon (read the ingredients, that’s what you’re doing) he wants ripe life forms, full of vitamin C, and those taste sweet.

Why getting your nutrition only from food is a bad idea at bulletproofexec:

"multivitamins often make people think they can eat even worse, which isn’t exactly productive. Many people are shamed into avoiding supplements with statements like “So you’re too lazy to eat real food? You think you can fix everything with a pill?”

Vitamins & minerals in pill form can't replace good food, but they can help... if they're from natural sources and not filled with toxins, sugar and allergens. But they're called supplements, not replacements.

11 reasons to take supplements at the site. Here are some:

"Grains, legumes, and most forms of modern dairy are not food. The purpose of consuming food is to nourish the body and mind. These foods do the opposite. They are nutrient deficient (or void). They contain extremely small amounts of nutrients, most of which are malabsorbed. Grains and legumes deplete nutrient stores and interfere with nutrient absorption. They are toxins in themselves, which increases your nutrient needs. Grains and legumes both cause intestinal damage which further decreases your ability to absorb nutrients. Even if you’ve stopped eating these foods, you may be in nutrient debt or have lingering intestinal damage which is interfering with nutrient absorption. Due to inflammation caused by other foods toxins, dairy protein is often inflammatory. Conventional dairy also contains mycotoxins which are extremely damaging."

"Most modern fruits and vegetables are grown to increase their sugar content, not their nutrient value. As a result, most of the common fruits and vegetables are artificially high in fructose and sugar and lower in key nutrients."

HELL!! Refining and now messing with life forms directly!!!? There's no escape from human's stupidity! Obesity and diabetes and even cancer... here we go! ... to die.

"There is a huge variation in the mineral content of bottled and tap water, with tap water generally having more. Water filters remove important minerals such as magnesium, which was a main source of magnesium for early humans."

HA! Yeah my body didn't like how acidic water became out of a filter. Plastic leaks chemicals that mess with your endocrine system too, especially when heated.

"When you’re consuming low quality foods, you have to eat even more to obtain the right amounts of nutrition." That's why people get obese on junk, not because of gluttony; they HAVE to over eat to survive. What they store are useless calories and TOXINS.

"Your body needs nutrients to deal with toxins. When more toxins are present, you need more nutrients. If you’re living in a cave or the garden of Eden, this will be less of a concern. If you’re like the rest of us mortals – you’re exposed to a litany of toxins on a daily basis.

Here are just some of the things your body has to contend with:
  • Xenoestrogens (plastics, BPA, some molds, petroleum products). ((and soy))
  • Industrial solvents and cleaners.
There are hundreds of other sources of unnatural stress that increase the body’s need for proper nutrition:
  • Unnatural lighting.
  • Food toxins
    (not a problem if you’re eating Bulletproof: 14 steps to eating the bulletproof diet "“I don’t have time” is not an excuse. Nourishing your mind and body is not optional. If you do this mostly right, you’ll set yourself up for a low inflammation, high performance, high energy lifestyle. If you don’t make time to take care of yourself now – you’ll have to make time to be sick later. Eat Bulletproof. Be Bulletproof.").
  • Stress and lack of sleep.
Our bodies weren’t designed to deal with these toxins using only nutrition from food. They just weren’t. So if you plan to get your nutrition only from food, you should plan to get your toxins only from the Garden of Eden. Good luck with that."

Hahaha! Awesome article.

"Athletes often think tons of exercise is the key to a long and healthy life (it’s not). They are among the first to denounce supplementation as unnecessary, often with the idea that exercise is the best medicine. I don’t advocate high amounts of exercise, but this is an important point. If you’re doing enough exercise to substantially deplete energy reserves, you’re also using more nutrients for energy production and recovery. As a result, athletes are at an even higher risk of nutrient deficiencies."

This is why malnourished people can't get off the couch. They're not fat because they don't move, so moving won't make them healthier. They don't move for energy conservation because they don't have the nutrients necessary to burn energy and repair a worn out body. They're fat from TOXINS. When I took a B complex supplement, I HAD to move, I had so much energy that I didn't know what to do with it. I make posters now.

If supplements can buy you a few more years of quality life, why not take them? Vitamin C is vital to make the collagen to fill wrinkles, joints, glue minerals to the bones, elastic blood vessels, red blood cells, a solid heart, and repair the damage of oxidation that can mutate into cancer. It’s only half of the truth that vitamin C is a magical cure that make you live longer… it’s actually the deficiency of vitamin C that makes you suffer and kills you sooner.

You can call scurvy by any other names… but it will kill you just the same… unless you take vitamin C.

USDA scam vs. The Bulletproof Diet

"The new USDA dietary recommendations, obviously designed to prioritize agricultural economics over human health. In fact, that’s not strong enough language. Words like negligence, ignorance, or just plain evil come to mind.

Here’s why the USDA deserves to be treated as the tool of industry it is rather than the protector of the public good it professes to be: Where’s the fat?

I see puffy, bleary-eyed execs and hyperactive children eat this kind of diet all the time, maybe with a guilty pat of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” on the side. It’s a sure recipe for obesity, diabetes, yeast infections, and poor mental performance... not to mention blood sugar swings. It will break your thyroid. It will shorten your life."

Fat soluble vitamins require fat to be absorbed (and toxins need fat to be expelled, that’s why your pee is yellow like fat.) Your cells’ membrane is made of fat. Your brain is made of fat. Just eat fresh ones and not fried rancid ones. They become toxins and are bad, not because they’re fats, but because they’re DEAD!

Stay away from processed oils like canola, its real name is rape seed oil, from a poisonous weed. It’s only healthy for the industry, not for you.

I eat a lot of nuts, coconut oil and bio goat butter is delicious! And cheese too… it’s pure evil… but I’m allowing this one since I’m so healthy in mostly everything else… And unlike smoking or cola, it has vital nutrients like YES cholesterol! The hormones need it.

"If the USDA had bothered to mention fat, they would have needed to differentiate between the various kinds of fats rather than treating margarine, hydrogenated soybean oil, flax seed, butter, coconut oil, chicken fat, and even candle wax as identical substances, and assuming they all have identical biological effects.

But by not even mentioning this vital nutrient – you know, the one that is the building block for all your hormones, your cell membranes, and your brain – the USDA has further spread the lie that all fat is bad for you. Oxidized fat is bad for you. Omega-6 oils are bad for you (soy, corn, and other vegetable & seed oils). You die slowly without the right amounts of the other ones."

"Protein is not Protein:

Soy protein and egg protein have radically different effects on the body. Black widow spider venom is also a protein with even a different effect. Treating them all the same is not logical or safe.

Soy protein is proven to break your thyroid gland, it inhibits absorbtion of minerals because of its phytate content, and it contains enough estrogen in it to affect testicle size and age of puberty in kids who eat it regularly."

"70% of the world is allergic to gluten, the main protein in wheat and related grains. It destroys the gut, is linked to autism, and it makes you fat.

But according to the comic recommendations, you can put a loaf of seitan (wheat) tofurkey (soy) on your plate, and smile while you eat it, not knowing that you’re wrecking at least 3 vital control systems in your body as you do it, and probably getting a good dose of excitory neurotoxins ((makes you hyper as it destroys your brain)) from the wheat if you’re lucky. If you’re doing that to you kids, now is the time to stop."

"High fructose corn syrup is not the same as broccoli, even though both are made of carbs. Some vegetables can be good for you. Unfortunately, the USDA thinks ketchup is a vegetable – really."

I love cynical health activists~ I'm weary of people who seem to be deliriously happy on tofu. Anemia is bad. Fresh meat good.

Also: Diet drinks void of nutrition, pose health risks for dieters m.reflector-online.

By the way, I don’t take a multivitamin. It's like a sample... it’s worthless, not an excuse to indulge in deadly behaviors thinking it made you invincible.

To rebuild vital organs that were shutting down, I take 8 pills of vitamin C alone! And 3 of a B complex… and other joyful stuff: like Kelp for my thyroid, Calcium+D3 and magnesium for my adrenals.

It must be working: I’m not in pain anymore (and it used to make me suicidal), I can move (I couldn’t even sit or stand up long enough to do my dishes), I sleep like a baby and don’t have PMS anymore. But of course I banned grains and artificial toxins too! That’s why diet cola make people fatter than sugary ones: because it’s pure poison!

Of course I stuff my face with fresh vegetables, nuts and meat too!

Enjoy water, greens, fresh meat, nuts and natural supplements for your specific needs~

Lisa Of Shades
11 September 2014
Story: 6 September 2014

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