Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!




Humor ~ Various ideas ~ Random jokes 2


Because all my mad random inspiration didn't fit in one page.


Wisdom: Fuel your will with a reason, and fuel your reason with knowledge.


Lisa Of Shades
19 March 2014

Get back up ^


Chainsaw were invented to “help” deliver babies.

Oh I so wish I was kidding. Read it at omg-facts. They have an hilarious image. It's not on wikipedia's page. Maybe to avoid giving ideas to fathers.

Shit, the article is from wikipedia and the picture is terrifying! See it at wikipedia. I knew that syringes were thicker in the past and hurt more, but using that as a scalpel is demented! Oh mercy, it was used to dissect and amputate... and they used it on mothers for at least 100 years... in the late in the late 18th Century (1783-1785)... it's like... yesterday.

“…symphysiotomy had too many complications for most obstetricians but Jeffray's ideas became accepted, especially after the development of anaesthetics.” WHAT!? It’s okay to commit atrocities as long as the victim doesn’t shriek their head off? They will have to live with the results you dumb asses!

"described successful excision of diseased joints" Of course a chainsaw will cut anything off... even trees!!! It doesn't make it okay to cut up mothers!

Oh look how fast the baby came out! Oups the mother just bled to death.

Hell, medicine sure didn't evolved much since then, considering that Hippocrates created it 460-370 B.C., that's more than 2014 years ago... and we forgot his basics of medicine... use nutrition first... and I'm pretty sure he'd also say:

don't use chainsaw on vaginas
. (Someone will want to fuck that later, you jerk!)

It gives a whole new meaning to the bible saying thou shall give birth in pain
(“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.”)

Guys, stay out of women business! At least you won't make it way WAYYY worse.

Doctors systematically cut women from their vagina to their ass, which is a painful, disfiguring and forever painful tragedy... It’s not supposed to happen, but when you give an epidural anesthesia (which can cause life long spine pain to twist a needle in it) so the woman would push madly hard, way too fast, so the employees can be inconvenienced for less long... and deliver babies like McDonald's deliver hamburgers... It was less barbaric to use a midwife. At least the crazy hormones from the balls that she doesn't have didn't get in the way or rational and compassionate thinking. Dicks.

Still think that men have been fair and equal to women through history? Think again.


If your lover seems to behave like leather face from chainsaw massacre, maybe it’s not just an impression.

I knew that doctors didn’t have people’s well being at heart, acting more like pushers, but I was hoping that they didn’t murder with their toxic pill on purpose… I cynically accept reality with a laugh.

Women endured all that, how can they possibly be the weaker sex.
A guy wouldn't last a second with a period cramp! (Girls take magnesium, vitamin C and ban soy, it sure helped me)

Maybe women are weak for being too kind to rip off your balls and shove them down your own throat! And whoever thought that using it on mothers was a good idea sure deserves to.

They still do it, with scalpels… but they still rip women open instead to let nature do what it’s supposed to, no matter how long it takes. They’re such in a hurry to live… that you end up prematurely dead. I can see the positive in that somehow, if it ever makes them the victim of their own impatience and stupidity, instead to hurt and even mutilate the people who have the misfortune to be around them.

But I am so not having children in a world like this.

A world where doctors think that ripping your vagina with a chainsaw will help you… there’s a limit to sexism!

If you like vaginas, say no to their mutilation!

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
20 March 2014

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Why is there the word "need" in "needle"!? Whoever gave it that name when he invented it wanted to promote junkies addicts for profit. They always do~

Lisa Of Shades
20 March 2014

Get back up ^


Note to self amazement:

When science fiction is real.

I have a character that I always use for my stories, and to open the door to my subconscious and talk to my body with visualization, but in the story...

He's immortal, because as long as one of his cell lives, he can duplicate himself and transform any of his cells into any kind, back and forth, even though it's unpleasant. He can even become full liquid, kind of like Marvel's Venom character, yet different because mine can take other forms instead to need a host.

I was so amazed today to see that it actually exists... Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish can revert back to it's youth and transform any cells into any other kind of cells... She only die if she's killed, by being eaten whole for example.

I have stories where my character is the result of a human being spliced with something else, but I couldn't think of anything cool enough... or that would make sense.

With how scientists are interested in that creature, splicing it with humans wouldn't surprise me in the future and will probably happen... maybe does right now.

I utterly adore jelly fishes, and my character masters water (even if is way more impressive) he can create any type of cell from simple water, even though it doesn't make sense on a molecular level... I just wonder if it would be possible to rearrange atoms... it would probably make nuclear energy happen, but what if he could use it to fuel himself...

Knowing that jellyfishes are actually the way my character always in any kind of stories... that there's an immortal creature on earth... it warms my heart that it's my beloved jellyfish.

My character can't reproduce, otherwise it'd get overcrowded like crazy... and that's what happening with jellyfishes after we over fished their predators!

HA! Jokes on you, humans! It's like the planet getting revenge (maybe they're the equivalent of white blood cells against invaders).

The deadliest creature on earth is immortal!

(Well, the most poisonous jellyfish is another that isn't said to be immortal, but still.)

Enjoy, I sure do~
Lisa Of Shades
20 March 2014

Get back up ^

No jokes but I don't have a page for it yet:

I just had an epiphany. I was brushing my teeth and worried about plaque buildup said to be able to sneak between the gum and teeth and make them become loose… but then my body told me: “don’t worry you don’t eat sugary grains and lots of vegetables so you’ll be fine”. And then it hit me... the belief spread around is in reverse!

Plaque can build up between gums and teeth because they’re loose, from not having enough collagen, from vitamin C, in vegetables, to make plump gums. Grains and sugar don’t have vitamin C, but they add injury to starvation because they stick to teeth. Worse, they are acid and melt them even further than they already are. It’s from a lack of proper vitamins and minerals to renew even the hardest cells in your body, as they’re worn by daily use. Or the cells just reach the end of its life span and need to make sisters or children out of some proper materials... that you need to eat!

If all we needed was calories, then we’d only have to eat the required amounts of spoons of sugar everyday. It sounds absurd but when you look at the ingredients it’s exactly what processed food does to you. Even hospitals by giving a glucose drip, as if comatose patients could possibly rebuild a brain with that, or heal any injuries from energy, time and sheer will alone. Absurd. You need nutrition.

So as long as you avoid scurvy, you probably don’t even need to brush your teeth, because vegetables like cucumbers do it for you~ I do brush once a day and floss everyday as I feel stuck, but that’s not why I have beautiful teeth, clean yes, but they’re healthy because I feed them what they need and avoid what damages them. Just like bones.

Lisa Of Shades
20 March 2014

Get back up ^

If your cell phone’s signal is strong enough to reach a satellite half way to the moon, then of course it’s strong enough to fry your brain… and give you boob cancer if you leave it in your bra all day!
Lisa Of Shades
28 March 2014

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Nothing's funnier than the truth.
Lisa Of Shades
28 March 2014

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Every time I see someone trying to copy the look of a musical artist, I find it ridiculous. It’s their costume for their work, you’re not supposed to wear that as your daily clothes, especially when the best you can play is guitar hero… Tch. Try to seduce a girl from under a window with that skill… not very sexy. Especially since it only makes clicking sounds... and you look like you're holding the fake guitar of a 6 years old.

Then I thought that it’s as absurd as someone who love McDonald’s who end up dressing like the clown. But they actually kinda do too! When you eat fast food regularly and end up obese… wearing more x on your shirt than a freaking porno movie… that shirt ends up almost as big as a freaking circus tent! Not that far away from the clown’s clothes…

So appearances can be deceiving… but when you look deep enough, they actually reveal a lot! Like this simple truth: people are morons!

Enjoy~


Lisa Of Shades
28 March 2014

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Cancer is a prolonged artificial toxins exposure. The only way to find an artificial way to stop that from killing us is to change how life itself works… our humanity would therefore be the disease and we’d have to be turned into machines. Then we’d be able to tolerate poison, varnish, artificial color, paint and toxic fumes in our “beauty” products and “food” products to our heart content.

But since any living things can get cancer, the true cure for it without getting rid of chemicals would be death!

So it is indeed true that cancer cures itself.

Not just from being a survival mechanism to prolong life as long as possible by sealing toxins in tumors... but also by curing the disease that is the human race, off the surface of the earth.

Perhaps god gave us the intelligence to find the solution to our own problem, us, by inventing so many poisons. Perhaps we were indeed created in his own image, and that’d be why we’re so incline to kill ourselves. It'd mean that God wants us dead.

The bible finally makes perfect sense to me!

Lisa Of Shades
30 March 2014

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If god didn’t want us to eat animals then he shouldn’t have give us a mouth.

And made them so tasty.

Thankfully it's true for vegetables, nuts and fruits too.


Lisa Of Shades
30 March 2014

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When you hear a little voice in your head telling you that you’re stupid, instead to take drugs to stop the voice, how about stopping the stupid thing that you’re doing? That voice might be onto something. And that stupid thing that you need to stop might be to stop telling yourself that you’re stupid. You ARE. But don’t waste time and energy stating the obvious, use it to find solutions instead.

Lisa Of Shades
31 March 2014

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I’d love this T-shirt: “Have you seen my sanity?” T-Rex running after a giant brain with chicken legs.

Lisa Of Shades
5 April 2014

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How to be a good Christian: Put your hands on your ears and scream LALALALALA!

Freaking ignorant. Well, maybe Darwin is wrong about evolution in THEIR case. Mwahahahaha!

Lisa Of Shades
5 April 2014

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Demotivational poster on how guys won’t take no for an answer when they harass for sex, unless it starts to hurt THEM. We can't be smiling or nice.

*Insert cute girl poster*
No
It means you disgust me.
I'd rather kill you than have sex with you.
Is it clear enough or do I need to stab you a few times?
Lisa Of Shades
8 April 2014

Get back up ^

I hate how people put cute kitties on demotivational poster and try to pass it for dark humor. So here’s one of the rare posters, besides a hanged kitty, that would be demotivating enough:

*find photo of the cutest kittens*
Kittens on the internet.
You will never hug them.
You will never pet them.
They will never curl up on your lap.
You will never hear them purr.
They will never love you.
NEVER.

Lisa Of Shades
8 April 2014
Made it plurial: 9 April 2014

Get back up ^

*Image of obese person*

Bacon
When you eat pigs, like a pig, you end up looking like a pig.

(And worse because I’d rather have sex with a pig than you.)

You are what you eat
An ugly blob of grease.
Lisa Of Shades
8 April 2014

Get back up ^

*obese guy picture*
Bacon
His ugliness is made of it.
Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

Get back up ^

Be yourself~
A piece of shit
Because you’ll never be any better and your “best try” isn’t fooling anyone.

(*Long maniacal laughter* Now THAT's a demotivational)

Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

Get back up ^

Pain
It’s your body’s way to tell you that you’re an idiot.

Killing it won’t change that fact.
Unless you actually die.
Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

Get back up ^

*failed gun suicide picture*

Suicide
No matter how bad things get, you can always make them worse.
Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

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We’re mostly water.

H2O: 2 Hydrogen molecules, 1 Oxygen molecule

Hydrogen: a colorless, odorless, flammable gas that combines chemically with oxygen to form water: the lightest of the known elements.

Oxygen: a colorless, odorless, gaseous element constituting about one-fifth of the volume of the atmosphere and present in a combined state in nature. It is the supporter of combustion in air and was the standard of atomic, combining, and molecular weights until 1961, when carbon 12 became the new standard.

So we’re mostly gas. Like farts.

I just explained scientifically that we’re a bunch of assholes.


Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

Get back up ^

*Picture of Annibal Lecter*
Save animals
Eat humans!

(...and vegetables too, they are alive as well.)

*Picture of Annibal Lecter*
Save animals, plants and the whole planet!
Eat humans!
Lisa Of Shades
9 April 2014

Get back up ^

*Parody images of: a French Canadian eating frogs. A French guy with a beret and bread under his arm, maybe holding a glass of whine, shirt with blue and white horizontal lines. An Asian maybe sumo… etc… ah yes Hitler for German, representing the grammar Nazi*

Illiterate Americans
If we write English better than you do, then you’re REALLY stupid.

(It's a bit redundant to use Illiterate and Americans in the same sentence, but I do like to over use synonyms when I need to put emphasis on something. Maybe they’re just lazy because I use Word’s corrector a lot. That’s precisely my point! With all the messy typos that I do, and my French Canadian ignorance, why the hell do I write better than most people BORN English. WTF… Damn l33t and sHiT.)

Lisa Of Shades
11 April 2014

Get back up ^

*Picture of Toothless, from the movie How to train your dragon, with his eyes crossed about to regurgitate a fish*

You think hair balls are gross? Wait until I force you to swallow what’s coming.

Lisa Of Shades
11 April 2014

Get back up ^

*Doctor giving a bottle of Ritalin to a mother sitting at his desk*

Doctor: Here’s Ritalin. It’s going to kill everything about your child being a child… everything about him as a person… and it could even kill him. Now that you know that parenting is difficult, next time get an abortion sooner.

Lisa Of Shades
11 April 2014

Get back up ^

When I was working at a McDonald (I’m crazy for a reason) one of the employees’ face started to melt off with red craters all over from eating it for dinner. (we had 50% off so we ate it all the time… more cash for them).

*picture of chuckling fries and chocolate*
Junk food doesn’t cause acne. Putting it in your mouth does!


It’s because you swallow it, it’s because of YOU. Because you do something harmful… so don’t remove the “you” out of your life, remove the stupid, and that’s junk food. But still. Junk food won’t plot to give you acne. The guy with a hamburger’s head won’t give you acne. Eating the wrong thing will melt off your face from lack of building blocks as much as too much damaging chemicals. That’s why some people can get away with eating some junk food. I can’t tough. If I eat it once I have skin lesions for months that won’t heal. Even cheese isn’t that tasty.

Lisa Of Shades
11 April 2014

Get back up ^


From my page: Facts of Life ~ Technology ~ Wireless is killing us!!!

Maybe religious people are right, evolution doesn't exist. We're as stupid as we were when your god threw you in a cave. We merely changed the way that we hurt ourselves dumbly. Instead to hit our own face with a mace “duh~?” we now use electricity.

Enjoy cables~ You can tie up and strangle burglars with them, if you can't find your gun fast enough, or if it's taken from you.

To add more:

But don’t~ fear~ radiations~~~ Just calmly avoid them. Or not, you gotta die of something right? And if it’s of a brain tumor in childhood… when you gotta go you gotta goooooo~~~ It’s not like you have power over your own life through informed choices right? God just hate you~~~

Well, if I had created such a stupid race, I’d hate and kill them too. But no, it’s your own damn fault. Not even the company’s fault for burying the facts with laughter and fake myth buster sites… not even ignorant doctors… It’s YOUR fault! For mindlessly trusting whatever you’re told and gobble up everything that’s presented to you.

FUCK YOU!

Ah~ It hurts a bit less to have to watch you die now. Anger is great sometimes.

*grabs your hand and slaps you as you hold your phone* why are you hitting yourself? *repeats endlessly all day long* Oh look you have a brain injury I wonder how that happened!

Even a drop of water can pierce a mountain when given enough time and repetitions.

You're just a frail blob of snot!


Dictionary: Snot: Informal. a disrespectful or supercilious person. Supercilious: haughtily disdainful or contemptuous, as a person or a facial expression. displaying arrogant pride, scorn, or indifference.

Whoa, EXACTLY! I love the dictionary!

You deserve whatever you do to yourself!
Lisa Of Shades
12 April 2014

Get back up ^

Thoughts:

Balance: For every inconvenient there is an advantage. For every end in the night, a dawn for a new day begins.

“Balance: For every light, a shadow. For every night, a day. For every inconvenient, an advantage. Find yours.”

Lisa Of Shades
12 April 2014
New version 17 April 2014

Get back up ^

A fat women complained that she hate to drink water. What!? We’re 90% water it’s like hating yourself! Try adding some ice and pretend that it’s Santa Claus’ sperm. (Or Mr Freeze's, from Batman) You can swallow that, bitch, don’t you! (Oh god it's a pathetic joke... the joke is... it's actually true! People really are more willing to swallow sperm than purifying water!!!?) Sad but true... some people are more willing to do that than water.)


How can you hate water... it's mostly oxygen (H2O)... it's like hating to breathe!

Well, you have to be suicidal to drink cola with what I know (diabetes, the diet fake sugars kill brain cells). Heck when I end up hypoglycemic after a sugar crash I feel suicidal, and even then I wouldn't drink cola. Fucking fizz. It's like swallowing needles, and then they come back up with a vengeance and hurt my nose too! People don’t like the taste I bet, they like to burp, and fart… Freaking immature (death is way funnier.). Don't give that shit to kids!

Lisa Of Shades
17 April 2014

Get back up ^

(Video disguised as an Arab from long ago or to avoid any racism or at least lower it… Lincoln.)

“Hi, I’m Lincoln. I had a change of heart. Who am I to deny you the free will to sell your sons and daughters to slavery?” (The whites didn’t kidnap black people from Africa apparently; they BOUGHT them… from BLACK people!!!)

“Beautiful, ugly, slim or fat, I take everyone! A good whipping and anybody can do the job! Call now!”

Maybe add “Call now and you get a free T-shirt “I sold my daughter/son/ex-wife to slavery”.

Maybe a fast voice with a low tone like those info pub revealing the scam legally but too fast for you to hear: “Sales are final. We don’t take dead ones the necrophiliacs (sexually attracted to corpses) like to kill them by themselves. No exchanges but satisfaction guaranteed; just whip them harder.

I don’t think that it would be free will. The absurdity is the point of the joke. Not slavery. But don’t be fooled, minimum wage is worse: you have to pay for everything and can up in debt or in the streets… and you have to pay for your own whipping too!

People see depressive people who become invalid… but what if it's actually the other way around… People refuse to employ them from discrimination, or abuse them verbally, mentally and physically (even sexually) until they end up sick and at death's door from exhaustion… as they are forced to work more than humanly possible to cut costs... AND THEN… then they depressed. Stop blaming everything on depression. If it’s the #1 disability… then society is a very miserable place to be and maybe we should find a way to change that… and no it’s not more drugs trying to escape, legally or in the streets (same crap, different brand or causal names) … It would be a reality that people would want to embrace happily… Can you imagine a world where Monday is your favorite day? Well, I’m sick so everyday is Saturday to me~

What happened to "machines will do the work for us!" NO. We have to get 3 jobs just to buy all that new junk! Too scared to be left behind, look uncool... and be unloved... When no one is even willing to love themselves. Ha! Running after lies after lies... Being sick is the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I finally put (if I wanted to survive) my priorities, efforts and love at the right place: ME!

Drinking water is like breathing… for the gut… as if your gut was a fish…
if you don’t drink water, you die! If you drink sea water, there’s too much salt for what you need, so the more salt you get, the more water you need to balance it… so if you drink sea water you die of thirst faster. Same with sugar and stuff. (Sodas are salted for this reason actually; the sugar is to hides the salt) You need WATER.

Drinking isn’t supposed to taste something. Just like breathing.
Smokers tried to enhance breathing and look where that got them. Cancer… agony… death is a blessing indeed compared to that low quality of life, it’s the living agony that you should be worried about.

Enjoy WATER!

Lisa Of Shades
17 April 2014

Get back up ^

You don’t have to run a stationary marathon everyday to burn fat. The brain uses a lot of energy and is MADE of fat. So if you want to burn what you eat… THINK!

(From my page: Health ~ Nutrition ~ Purpose of fat)

Lisa Of Shades
17 April 2014

Get back up ^

T-shirt ideas (To make people stop harassing me for sex. I’m not attracted by men and women, humanity turns me off even when I’m on.)

Asexual: That means go fuck yourself!

Defective

Out of order


Lisa Of Shades
17 April 2014

Get back up ^

Woman with a turban looking into a crystal ball:

Your future

I see nothing.
Nothing worth mentioning.

Lisa Of Shades
25 April 2014

Get back up ^


Sometimes when people shit in your eyes and ears, venting a whole lot can make the air smell better.

Lisa Of Shades
25 April 2014

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I tried to turn the page and move on... but then I got a paper cut. XD

Lisa Of Shades
25 April 2014

Get back up ^

Humans are so ugly

They have to coat themselves with floor varnish and house paint to be able to bear each other.

I am either too gorgeous to need make up; or so repulsive that even plaster from a hardware store won’t cover up the disaster that is my face.

Hm~ the antonym of gorgeous is normal. Ha! Take that normal people: stupid, ugly, unhappy, depressed, unaware, insignificant, undesirable, dull, bad, awful, horrible, inferior, second-rate, ordinary... normal. Wow~ Dictionary, your eloquent wisdom never ceases to amaze me. See for yourself the antonyms of gorgeous at thesaurus.

Nice article about nail varnish. The keywords is "toxic" and "eye watering fumes" WHAT!? Read Snails Kid-friendly Nail Varnish review at madhousefamilyreviews. Yup, kid friendly only, because once you're an adult, you're immortal right. I wonder where all those cancers and brain diseases are coming from, no it can't be the pretty varnish, they're so pretty. Breathe in deep and let it soak on your porous flesh all day, everyday~ At least you'll die pretty. Pretty slowly.

What happened to buying paper to let kids draw pretty colors... and photoshop? Why their flesh? That's fucked up. Well, if you have to be stupid, at least get the least toxic option. Or just put ribbons in her hairs.

Actually maybe it's a scam, chemicals are ALWAYS toxic. Read Is your nail polish toxic?
at webmd: Researchers find toxins in nail polish labeled 'Toxin-Free'. "The labeling does not always reflect the ingredients" says scientist. The industry replies that the report lacks perspective.

Perspective... Because from behind a huge pile of money, you can't see people get poisoned. And you just don't care. And just look how happily they're giggling at their pretty nails while they get pretty cancer! Beautiful~ You have to break eggs to make omelets. It's worth breaking a few lives. Or is it~

Too bad that if they get Alzheimer, from the brain damaging toxic fumes deposits, they won't be able to remember where they put the bottle to apply more. It's ok, the undertaker will be able to do it for them.

From the health articl: "The lab tested the products for three chemicals -- dibutyl phthalate, toluene, and formaldehyde -- commonly called the ''toxic trio."

Embalm (dictionary) : to treat (a dead body) with preservatives, as by injecting formaldehyde into the blood vessels, to retard putrefaction.

That is... seriously fucked up... Do I really need to explain why!? You can't treat a living being this way!!! Maybe shocking the heart ressurect the dead sometimes, but it KILLS the living! Maybe coating a corpse with chemicals mask and prevent decay, but to a LIVING being, you need to PROMOTE LIFE, with HEALTH CHOICES! B12 will give you strong blood, more red blood cells to color your lips. Vitamin C will give you elastic skin by making colalgen. Avoiding acidic junk and processed food will avoid the skin to be destroyed when you'Ll sweat it out to detoxify yourself. But coating yourself with poison that will be absorbed in, to your brain and vital organs... Hell, that's deadly stupid... and I'm said to be abnormal, unwanted and crazy... Well, maybe it,s a good thing if that's your definition of normality, and that word is far from being a quality!

That is... seriously fucked up... Do I really need to explain why!? You can't treat a living being this way!!! Maybe shocking the heart resurrects the dead sometimes, but it KILLS the living! Maybe coating a corpse with chemicals masks and prevents decay, but to a LIVING being, you need to PROMOTE LIFE, with HEALTH CHOICES! B12 will give you strong blood, more red blood cells to color your lips. Vitamin C will give you elastic skin by making collagen. Avoiding acidic junk and processed food will avoid the skin to be destroyed when you’ll sweat it out to detoxify yourself. But coating yourself with poison that will be absorbed in, to your brain and vital organs... Hell, that's deadly stupid... and I'm said to be abnormal, unwanted and crazy... Well, maybe it’s a good thing if that's your definition of normality, and as I proved with the antonyms for gorgeous, normal is far from being a quality!

Damn varnished and painted sheep. Stop following the herd off the cliff!

"the chemical toluene, a toxin that may cause birth defects and developmental problems in children of pregnant women who have had extended exposure. They also looked for dibutyl phthalate (DBP), which has been linked to birth defects in studies involving lab animals, and formaldehyde, a carcinogen"

Oh that’s great, maybe you won't have to suffer from your pretty nails... you'll give birth to a deformed and damaged child who'll suffer all his miserable life for it, but hey, you can still feel like a great mother while you force Ritalin down his throat to help his "developmental problems... with his brain full of floor varnish. You'll have a deformed child, but at least you'll have nice nails.

Oh god... oh hell... I just remembered why I'm a misanthrope.

"In a statement, the council said that ''none of the levels described in the DTSC report present a significant health or safety risk."" To them... and their money. One cigarette doesn't cause cancer, it's the prolong exposure to toxins that does! So as long as there's toxins present, THERE IS A RISK!!! They admit it, but saying that the danger is insignificant is like saying that your life is insignificant.

It's up to you to choose. You can't even trust a label that says toxic free. It's a chemical, IT IS TOXIC! ALWAYS!!! Varnish and paint doesn't belong anywhere in or on a life form! You need organic living substances to promote life. If even bugs don't want to feast on a body treated with formaldehyde, how can you possibly think that it will improve your life!!!?

Don't let bugs be wiser than you!

So far they are. *sigh* They are...

FDA is so corrupted by bribes that it now stands for Fuckers, Donations Accepted.

Don't count on them to protect you, it's so bad that if it's FDA approved... run... freaking run... it's just a publicity label paid by the very people who want to poison you to get rich off your cancer. And the cancer industry is happy to cash in by injecting more carcinogens as a "therapy" to keep you hoodwinked.

If toxins are the problem, they sure as hell aren't the cure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rebecca Sutton, PhD, senior scientist at the Environmental Working Group: "The bottom-line finding is we can't trust the labels on some of these nail salon products that are claiming to be free of these toxic chemicals. Other products, such as cleaning supplies, also contain the chemicals, she says. Exposure can accumulate. I might say go easy on the nail polish. Go to the salon less often. Pregnant women might consider skipping salon visits."

If it's bad for babies... why do you deserve any less? You're more massive so the effects take longer, but each of your vital organs are smaller than a baby! Your brain is.

Find another way to be pretty. Eat well. Smile~

Next time you see people without make up, instead to think that they neglect themselves, think that maybe they take care of their health better than you do.

At least don't make it worse.

Bad make up and mutilated sparse eyebrows often do.

Porcelain dolls scare the hell out of me with their lifeless eyes and expressions. They’re not beautiful. What is more seductive to you? Nail polish, eyeliner, flat iron… or messy, raw. There~

Actually lip sticks were invented to give men the impression that the woman is in heat; that she can just be grabbed and fucked, right away, without the effort to seduce her. Because being in heat make the lips bigger and redder down there. It would be like men wearing an erect penis prosthetic on their nose. If we dropped the lies, maybe men would bother putting more efforts, instead to harass women, thinking that life is like a porno movie. It’s fake. And you are too. Covered up with make up to hide the truth about your flaws. And people think that I don’t live in reality~ Ha!

Of course I won’t be accepted, people can’t even accept themselves. Well, if I can avoid living with cancer that’d be good enough. And by cancer I mean humans.

The rule is so simple: If you don't want to eat it, don't put it on your body, because he can suck things in all over, not just with your mouth.

Unless you don’t care about being healthy, then knock yourself out and your baby. Less humans. Win-win.

More information in this nice eco conscious article: How toxic is your nail polish really? at organicauthority:

"Formaldehyde, yes the same stuff used to preserve dead things, is a known human carcinogen and can also cause eye, throat, nose and skin irritation. DBP is a known reproductive and developmental toxin, while toluene is a possible reproductive and developmental toxin and can also cause headaches, dizziness and fatigue. All of these chemicals can be absorbed into the body through the nail bed. Feel like swiping on a coat of polish now?"

Oh so it DOES affect you right away. Headaches, dizziness and fatigue is pretty much what doctors call depression, when they're too stupid to figure out why you're PHYSICALLY sick.

Beautiful like an embalmed corpse.

That's sick.

"just because a nail polish doesn’t contain the toxic trio, doesn’t mean it’s all good. Conventional nail polishes often contain other potentially dangerous chemicals including ethyl acetate, isopropyl alcohol, fragrances, dyes and more."

I wash myself with baking soda. Now THAT's clean and detoxifies me. If I don't eat putrid crap but fresh products, I smell fresh.

"The harmful compounds in nail polishes put more than your health at risk. When tossed into the trash they can leech their toxicity into the soil and groundwater. That’s quite an environmental price for stylish nails. Think about it. You wouldn’t throw house paint into the garbage. And conventional nail polishes are just paint after all. Many cities’ household hazardous waste departments list nail polishes as one of the, well, hazardous waste products accepted at their facilities. That means nail polishes sit right up there on the same unfriendly scale as car batteries and insecticides. Pretty scary, huh?"

Fine forget your environment and the fact that you need air to breathe and food from the soil... but what about your inner environment...

Fine forget your environment and the fact that you need air to breathe and food from the soil... but what about your inner environment... Well, we coat our food with insecticide so you probably don’t see the horrific point… Our way of life is so overwhelm toxic that we get horrible sufferings and can’t see the cause… Like a fish can’t see the water. Or humans can’t see the air. It’s there… everywhere… but unlike air or water… it doesn’t promote life but destroys it oh so slowly. Why use polish to harden your nails when you could get calcium + D3, magnesium and the B complex from food (I take vitamins, it improved illnesses that I was supposed to be doomed with). Try putting nail polish on your bones… or teeth… oh right they use brain damaging mercury for those… Oh hell!!!

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Humans learn to control their environment and be superior to all other forms of life… Really? Worms know better.

Do you?

Ask well: is nail polish harmful?
at well.blogs.nytimes:

"The idea of nail polish as a risky substance gained traction in 2006 when public health advocates began a nationwide protest concerning “the toxic trio”. Since then, many companies have voluntarily removed these compounds, but some simply changed their labels while continuing to use them."

That's how much they care about your health, they lie to you, fool you, then sell you poison. I'm pretty sure even Hitler didn't mutilate babies.

"...amounts of these materials would be absorbed through the skin or nail or that vapors would be inhaled. Children, too, may be particularly susceptible to phthalates like DBP that pose developmental risks, and some pediatricians now warn against letting young girls, especially those young enough to chew on their fingers, wear polish."

Chewing your nails is a sign of nutritional deficiency, that's very stressful to your body, and being well fed allows you to handle stress. But no~ Starve your kids with empty processed wheat, corn, soy, just load them with sugar and caffeine... void of any usable vital nutrition... and when they look pale... just apply paint and varnish and let them snack on it.

Ignorance is the true insane.


The more I observe humanity… the crazier I feel.

We have the erroneous belief that once we are done growing taller, we’re an object set in time and impervious to damage. We’re not. Every 7 years it’s a whole new you. You need the proper materials to renew your cells, your brain, all your vital organs, even teeth and bones. The person that you were 7 years ago doesn’t exist anymore; you are a clone of yourself. Your nails and hairs grow, your skin shed... everything goes and is replaced anew. Your shape might be set, it might take longer than a smaller person like a baby… but the damage still occurs. You’re the same creature you were at birth. Bigger, harder to take down… but with the same vulnerabilities. What can mutilate and hinder the proper growth of cells in an infant… DOES the same in an adult.

We're all the same. We are alive. We need living organic substances to renew our own.

Enjoy~

Lisa Of Shades
25 April 2014

Get back up ^

2 jokes and the story that inspired me:

I saw an advertisement at a pharmacy scaring people about the shingles.

Dictionary for shingles: “a disease caused by the varicella-zoster virus, especially by reactivated virus in an older person, characterized by skin eruptions and pain along the course of involved sensory nerves”.

It doesn’t make sense because if the virus re-activate, then you already have it and an immunization will be useless. Vaccines are supposed to train your immune system with a weakened or dead bacteria or something, so when you catch the real one you already know how to fight it. It’s nonsense because it just makes you sick! People get the real symptoms and children got paralyzed from vaccines, most likely the brain damaging heavy metals and other horrors to preserve the vaccine at the peril of your child’s brain! They got the credit for health improvements that actually coincide with better food and better hygiene. Vitamin C is like bullets for your immune system, and it’s made of bacteria, so anti-bacteria soap isn’t good for you.

So I thought: Damn, 200$ for some bacteria!? Hell I could spit in their face for free!

Also, the cover of my trashcan got removed by the wind and filled by snow and rain… It was a pure putrid juicy horror to try to remove it. Even by piercing the bottom, it got clogged by the garbage bag and I had to try to move it around, but it was too heavy to take out. I got showered by falling water (I’m on the 3rd floor) while trying to clean the bags that I threw off my balcony, thinking that I’d be safe if I got down by the other exit, but I got too close and got showered.

I thought: Damn, I got showered by rotten trash juice; it's so full of bacteria that I probably got 50 vaccines!!!

But the most disturbing part is that the smell actually made me hungry. All my garbage is vegetables and bones, so it smelled pretty good somehow. But I was so glad to wash it all off with baking soda. I rinsed even the stairs.

The smell got away quickly, but not the putrid mouth of complainers. I'm so glad that I don't have to deal with people like that bitchy menopausal neighbor. But I have 2 chronic diseases and the only "help" I ever got was to be declared invalid for life. I'm worse off than her. My life is over before it even began. (I was around 25 when I got the label, more invalid than old people during my healthiest years; it terrified me as I thought it could only get worse with age. But it got better with vitamins and minerals. I'm 34.) If I can smile and be kind with so many reasons to die and kill... She has no excuse. She's just a bitch!

You think the smell is bad for 30 seconds as you quickly go home… I’ve been swimming in piss-puke juice for 1h!!! And you blame me for the rain!???

It was pretty fun actually. (I'd rather swim in the zombie stew again than listen to such bitchy hateful people.) I laughed my head off in my bath thinking about the amazing madness... as insects floated and unknown mass flew out of the hole as I desperately tried to keep it open.

I took a shower right before my puss shower, and another again after!

When pure horror become so bad that it becomes funny... all you can do is laugh, so just do it.


I had a good day~ I lived something new and unexpected! Yes, I swam in bug soup, but at least I'm not living in the skin of that bitter person who even complain about flowers on my balcony and how water fall when I water them... dear lord she must be hysterical when it rains!!!

Smell the roses~ And when you can't~ enjoy the fact that the stench is only temporary~

Whoa that was deep. I never cease to amaze myself. Like Deadpool says: “Thank you~ voice in my head~” Ah~ my random brain, you’re endless fun!

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
28 April 2014

Get back up ^

Mother bee yelling at kid bee: “You only got Bs at school!”


Ah, perfectionist parents with impossible expectations. Just sting them.

Lisa Of Shades
28 April 2014

Get back up ^

Demotivational:

Image of doctor smoking, recommending camels

Doctors. They make me sick


Image: Hands holding blue pill and red pill (matrix reference).

Blue pill or red pill

Either way, it will cause kidney damage

Nothing says poison like “lowered kidney function”

Lisa Of Shades
3 May 2014

Get back up ^


Human love:


Woman: How could you dump me for this way sexier woman with bigger boobs!

Man: Oh babe, I'm so sorry. She dumped me for a way more muscular rich guy. Please take me back, I'd rather keep fucking your boring vagina than jerk off!

Ah~ Human love. It makes me want to puke. No wonder so many women make themselves throw up. Now I finally understand. The vomit isn't from hoping to be thin enough to be loved, it's from how it feels like to be loved~

I'm glad I gave that shit up!

Enjoy your STD~
Lisa Of Shades
21 May 2014

Get back up ^


(It makes more sense drawn. I plan to use the characters that represent different parts of me. I'm too lazy and obsessed with my own brain to think of random characters.)
Holy (kid) : Hi~ Can I have one of your kidneys?

Shad: Well, technically, I'm your imaginary fried, so my kidneys are actually your kidneys.

Holy (kinda whispering between her teeth, irritated) : I know. But technically, you're more like a split personality...

Shad: ... the rational side of your brain while you're the emotional one, and visualizing characters allows you to bring both to your consciousness; while others favor one and dismiss the other as not being relevant for their gender... or... at all.

Holy: Well, technically I'm the kid side so...

Shad: Hey now that I think about it, you're represented as a 6 years old, and the innocent part of you before life made you grow different...

Annae (full grown woman passing by) : Screwed me up, yeah...

Shad: So... technically the part of you that looks the youngest is actually the one that existed first, that lived the longest... so you're the oldest.

Holy: Whoa... That's nice but... just play along with me! *waves her paws up and down, the leavs the room to try again*

The joke:

Holy: Hi~ Can I have one of your kidneys?


Shad gives her a disturbed stare.

Holy: Silence counts as yes.

Shad: No!

Holy: Aw, com'on, kidneys are like the heart, you only need one.

Annae passing by again: Or none at all for certain people.

Shad: For dead people, yeah. And zombies.


(You need both kidneys... everything you can get. Mine are tired and it's hell. That's why it's so damn funny to me! But probably not to you~)



Lisa Of Shades
2 June 2014

Get back up ^

(A sort of 2nd part to the comparison between technology, races and sex size... In case I forgot to write it: Asian made the biggest artistic and technologic contribution, then whites (from copying their ideas, and fast food is kinda worse than doing nothing. I never heard of an African in Africa doing something known and used worldwide. But if you compare penis size, black people win... and Asians end up the smallest. So you can be the best and worse at the same time, at different things.)

So since a friend opened my mind to darker skin tones, I came up with this joke to draw:

Why do black people wear pants at their knees instead of above their but!

(Not all of them, and many white and others, but I think they might have started the trend. Actually it's probably because they're rejected, put in poor Ghettos and denied social opportunities and services... so they end up so poor from discrimination that the youngest kid has to wear the way too big pants of the older one and it slides down... and then a big trend started with rich brats with no identity, expect the credit card of their busy and neglectful parents. There’s a down side to everything.)

Imagine a black guy, with his biggest dick, wearing tight pants as up as they were first meant to be. I don't know much about guys but apparently they put their penis up and on the side... but for black people, with their longer dick, I bet the tip would end up outside of the pants!

And to be able to put the dick downward and walk, maybe the pant's crotch needs to be down, to avoid bending the penis is half when moving the leg forward... so the penis would flop around and allow movement... and the pants end up a feet down... at their knees.

It's actually good for the balls because tight pants overheat them, and the spermatozoids need to be n a cool temperature to survive (that's why they dangle in a bag) so ending up with a skirt with pants legs is good for men. Why weren't they the ones getting that instead? Scottish people did with the kilt; I just hope they wear underwears...

Personally, I like to see nice asses. Not a diaper that looks like it's been over filled (I stole that joke from the Oatmeal comic actually, I so agree, but my theory is more based on actual biology, but probably not the truth!)

Must be hard... XD

My big boobs choke me when I sleep but at least I'm able to walk... I just can't run though, or I'd get boob-punched in the face. (It hurts when it flaps around.)

It's hard being... alive.

But that's kinda what makes it fun~

(This joke would be so funnier and more outrageous drawn)
Lisa Of Shades
2 June 2014

Get back up ^

I’m asexual so I don’t know much about sex, but if I was a slut into one night stands, I’d cut the crap and go right to it:

Hi~ I’m in heat. You please me. Shh~ Don’t say a word, just grab my breasts, cup a feel, and then tell me if you are interested, with your tongue, all over me. Ravage me, you manly beast. In the bathroom or take me back to your place, I don’t care how clean it is, we can fuck in the garbage. Or if you have 12 cats, let them watch~ Or if you live in your mother’s basement, she can watch too.

There. Easy.

Maybe I can add: I might not look like a porno star, but I’m even slutier, and willing to learn. I’m there for you baby, come and crawl in my uterus. Suck on my boobs, maybe if you do it hard enough you'll even get something to drink.

There. Easy. No need to be drunk or have a gallon of make up or clothes, it’s all going to end on the floor anyway. The world is probably a safer place with me being a chaste straight arrow. Otherwise I’d be a raping chainsaw. *sigh* There’s no one worthy of my chainsaw-ness.

Enjoy eating your "hotdogs", drunk behind the containers of some bar. You need a decent tool to paint a masterpiece (with body juices as paint) and my paint brush vibrates.

Lisa Of Shades
2 June 2014

Get back up ^

Different circumstances give different results. It's not people who are abnormal or less than optimal, it's their situation, they adapt to it.

People get nurtured, sweetness and warmth and they end up baking a big yummy cake with their lives.

I got neglect, bitterness and cold... you can't expect me to be able to cook a cake, and if somehow I manage to sculpt one out of the shit I was given... don't expect it to taste sweet!!!


Life is a recipe. When you get lemons, punch in the throat the person who squeezed them on the wounds they inflicted on you. That will shut them up.

Hm... if we can't get respect out of love, we can get it out of fear. Maybe that's why there's so much violence in the world.

People who are healthy can exercise, but if you're sick exercising will only make things worse! Making someone who has cardiac problems run a marathon everyday is sadistic, and obese people sure are at risk... Give them real food. Give them some respect, and maybe they'll stop digging their grave with a spoon trying to find some sweetness in their lives.

I'm not obese, but I just can't move, it hurts when I do... I faint when I stand up... So I lay down for myself. Because no one else ever wanted to care for me, and I had the choice between doing it or die... I chose death... but my body didn't agree. So...

I guess I'll somehow manage to enjoy living, sculpting cakes with shit and licking lemon juice off my wounds. At least I enjoyed punching a few people. If I had done that more often maybe I'd be saner. If I hadn't got neglected into disease and madness, I guess I'd be more normal... oh the horror. Thankfully I'm crazy. Never alone with voices in my head. Never bored with my random... randomness.

*sigh* I wish.

I love who I am... but now how my life has to be.

I don’t like the ingredients I was given, but it’s probably for the best, I don’t like the recipe.

Normal people are more shallow, hypocritical and fake than even my most schizo-psycho day. If I can’t say what I really feel, think and like… then I’d rather be an outcast… but I still need… company. Yet I can’t have the energy for it… *sigh* I do love irony.

But sometimes I wish I could have a piece of cake, without ending up poisoned and sicker than ever…

I'm glucose intolerant. Ha! Joke's on me.
Lisa Of Shades
4 June 2014

Get back up ^

Memorable moment of my page: Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Health 3 ~ Mosanto

Make healthy choices, GMOs aren't and science proved it!

Instead to be content in a passive delusional mindset: "good enough until I get sick from it, then a magical pill can undo all the damage, or they can just cut the disease out of my body" No. Life doesn't work that way.

At best it’s like a cat burying crap in a litter box. The stench won’t go away until YOU do something about it. The cat is out of the bag... it's so mutated it's not even a cat anymore. Get rid of the GMO cat! Put it out of its misery before it infects fluffy and mittens too!

It took a lot of crappy delirious text diarrhea to come up with that. It was totally worth letting the flow out unrestrained, even though I can repeat repeat myself and write superfluous stuff.

Enjoy~
Lisa Of Shades
12 September 2014


Memorable momen of my page: Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Anime 3

About verbal violence in a couple:

But, to each their own, so some bitches like small dogs that just bark neurotically for no decent reason (verbal abuse). Enjoy being dragged around in a purse, loser.

Until she gets tired of your mess. Dogs that attack their owners get puts you down.

Enjoy~


Lisa Of Shades
13 September 2014


Memorable moment: Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Dark morbid gore 4

We multiplied so much you could do that all your life and we’d still be overpopulated. I wonder how long we’d go extinct if everyone did that… probably a day. See how collaboration can achieve great things!

We should make MA meetings for murderers in jails. Murderers anonymous. Instead of drinking coffee and donuts they’d drink blood and eat human flesh. What? Jesus did it with his disciples. He’s such a zombie!

Enjoy~

Lisa Of Shades
13 September 2014


Memorable moment: Humor ~ Demotivational ~ Dark morbid gore 4


"Make-A-Wish ceased granting wishes involving the gift or use of firearms or other weapons designed to cause injury in 1996,..."

So they actually granted that wish!!!? Who's crazy now! Hahaha!

"...based on concerns over maintaining the well-being of a child in a weakened state handling weapons. In response, three organizations were formed: Hunt of a Lifetime, which arranged hunting trips for terminally ill children."

What's your wish kid?
I want a gun to take mommy and daddy with me.
Awww~

They probably deserve it for screwing the kid up.


Enjoy~

Lisa Of Shades
15 September 2014



 

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