Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!




Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Exploding


Fireworks and body partsI almost didn’t put that one, because it’s more about how to kill people than suicide. But it’s the obvious outcome, so why not!

Try not to loose your limbs while learning how to make and handle bombs. Or make sure that it’s not your good arm, or both, so you can finish the job.

Kamikazes were Asian people at first, “were suicide attacks by military aviators from the Empire of Japan (...) of World War II”. (wikipedia) They probably did it to protect their loved ones from invaders. Actually, I find it noble.

But if someone tells you that you’ll get 72 virgins, if you agree to be used as a walking bomb for their own goals… don’t be fooled. Even if heaven exists, they have no control over it for being mere mortals, and you’ll probably end up in hell if it does. You’ll be more likely to become a sex slave for bull headed giants with 72 snakes for a cock. But hey, if that’s your thing, I respect that.

But don’t take the word of a mortal for it.

Read more about: Suicide terrorism, martyrdom, kamikazes and 72 dark-eyed virgins at factsanddetails.

Doing it to fight capitalism isn't going to work. Bombs aren't love, friendship or family values... they're things! Hurtful things! And you can't teach people to respect life by throwing your own away...

If you want to make the world believe that your ways are better than capitalism, then prove it by example… I wouldn’t want to live in a country where everyone shoot each other or explodeof the blue. You won’t convince us by being an asshole and dying. You might by being happy while you live, but you wouldn’t want to explode yourself if it was the case.

So if you’re unhappy, you might as well take as many people as possible with you. Since everyone are assholes. But I’d be worried to kill someone decent… they’re so rare that it would truly be a shame to explode one with your random attack. That person might agree with you and is probably working hard everyday to change the world, one act of random kindness at a time. (Watch Bruce Almighty, info at iMDb. Jim Carrey might even make you laugh so hard that it will take your mind off the suicide for a while.)

Yeah, it’s easy to leave the world and die uh! But that won’t change a thing, except make your people look even more like assholes. If you want to explode your ass, go right ahead, but don't be a fool thinking that it will accomplish anything better than getting the world rid of a stupid person, among so many. It won't make a difference. So you might as well live. I won't even notice, so you have my permission, even if I'd probably enjoy seeing you die or kill you with my bare hands... but why bother. You're not worth the efforts. So just enjoy the natural flow of your life.

But hey, if you choose to freaking die, you might as well go out with a bang! Just make sure that the world would be better off without the people who'd get caught in the fireworks.

I’m not sure you’re the best person to judge that… but hey, if you can build a bomb without losing your head, how stupid can you be, right? I'm sure you're still pretty dumb.

Just stick to manual labor and leave the thinking to someone else.

If that person tells you to explode yourself... way to take one for the team! I guess... But I think that you should tell him to fuck off, walk away, jerk off thinking of 72 virgins, and buy yourself some stuff. You'll be way happier even if that's lame... The world would be a less bad place, at least. That sure keeps Americans quiet. And those people are walking disasters waiting to happen. If you think capitalism is awful, you don’t want to know what they’d do if they were unleashed from stupid ads and mind numbing TV… They'd probably eat babies while fucking their own grandmother with a cat up their ass. And I’m not even being as creative as their stupidity can get!

Oh well, exploding a few people would solve some of our overpopulation problem I guess.

But this is why I don’t actually kill people. Even if I was to destroy a whole city, there are so many humans in the world that it would be meaningless! So how much do you think you can change by splashing your shredded body parts in people faces… Maybe you’ll entertain some for a few minutes and then what!? Nothing.

Even if I spend my entire life killing people everyday, it won’t make much of a difference… I’d probably end up in a cage and that would be way too awful. I’d have to bear fools AND lose my freedom, I wouldn’t be able to run away from them, they’d have total control over my life… Horrific…

So I might as well mind my own damn business… do small positive acts… throwing pebbles in the lake of bullshit… the wave will spread and maybe improve the world around me… I don’t use much anyway. So that will be enough if I just don’t do bullshit myself. Even if I benefit from it, I’d still live in it! I don’t want that.

But feel free to put dynamite up your ass. Who knows~ Maybe one of the random people will be a pedophile. I'd like that. Why don't you hunt them down to make sure~ Why don't you put the explosives in THEIR asses so you can live to kill another day!

If you want to kill, make sure you can do it again... live! Bombs attract too much attention... Strangle them in a dark alley or something. You can seduce them in a chat, pretend you're shy, only send him picture of other kids, ask him to meet you and become your daddy~ Then cut off his balls!!! Maybe he'll kill you, it would be a shame, I love the kind of useful psychopath that you'd become, but at least you'd get your wish~

But back to exploding... Maybe you’ll just die alone in your workshop by accident… with no one to film it and put it on the news and YouTube, to entertain other dumb people with your stupidity… that’s really the best you can hope for… But 72 virgins? They’re dead… chances are they died of AIDS…

I wish I could say that it’s the worst idea… but I’ve seen so much bullshit that it’s hard to pick one.

Well, good luck with that~

If you just like fireworks, not planning to die will help you polish your skills and become really great at it; even if you suck at first. It's called learning from your mistakes. Life is about that a lot... death, not so much.

Enjoy~


Next: Provoking murder








Copyrights:
Fireworks at wikipedia.
Body parts at scottsiepker.
The mix is from my silly mind~
Notice the smile made of a finger,
and the hand giving you THE finger.

Lisa Of Shades
11 September 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!