Bananapoop ~ The "How to be less stupid" tutorial ~ This is not a banana tree!




Uncommon sense ~ How to suicide ~ Getting hit by a vehicle


Train suicide - decapitatedThat one is a bit tricky because you’ll need help from someone to get hit. But if we could count on that, you probably wouldn’t be contemplating suicide as much.


Car

There are many vehicles. but I wouldn’t trust a car. It probably only would break several bones and give you a brain concussion at best…

Or drag you for a few kilometers while you get grated like cheese and still manage to survive at worst...

Yet if you want to live, be careful crossing the street, especially on the green light since it's the favorite time for speeding maniacs. Because if you get hit, you’ll probably die.

Life is ironic and unfair like that. But maybe it’s because of the adrenalin rush, if you don't expect to die, you will be less prepared to handle it subconsciously. If you want to kill yourself, your body will be on the defensive.

I get closed to get hit by one rather often, so it might be easy, but some people have good reflexes! I sure do. I kinda tried to a couple of times, but my legs would stop moving on their own, becoming so stiff that I couldn't move them with my own will. It was fascinating. I didn't really wish to die, I wanted to admire how good my body is at protecting me. Knowing that I can rely on him cheered me up.

Being closed to death helped me see what I have. Maybe it can do it for you too. But if you don't have a super clever autopilot, you'll be killed quickly. Always look both ways when you cross the street if you want to live, I do.

If you want to die, look both ways anyway to know when to throw yourself at a car.


Bus or truck

But a bus would be much better, or an even heavier truck. It will crush your internal organs more unrecognizably... But it could merely cut off some limbs... maybe you'll be lucky and bleed out to death anyway, but that could take a very long and agonizing time... I don't think taking pain killers before that is going to make a difference... So make sure to aim your head or throat at the weels. But your head could just bounce out and brain damage you... Try to sneak your chest under the weels, that's where the good stuff is. But then people wouldn't be able to recyce your vital organs. But at least they wouldn't be able to save you either.

But a bus would be much better, or an even heavier truck. It will crush your internal organs more unrecognizably... But it could merely cut off some limbs... maybe you'll be lucky and bleed out to death anyway, but that could take a very long and agonizing time... I don't think taking pain killers before that is going to make a difference...

So make sure to aim your head or throat at the wheels right. But your head could just bounce out and brain damage you... Try to sneak your chest under the wheels, that's where the good stuff is. But then people wouldn't be able to recycle your vital organs for others. But at least they wouldn't be able to save you either.


The subway


I wouldn’t use the subway… getting hit by it isn’t a safe bet. You could just bounce back on the platform, especially if you’re fat. The tracks are hard to access and someone would stop the traffic if they saw you taking a nap on them.

If you jump right, you’ll end up face to face with the horrified stare of the driver, who’ll make you feel the full extent of your shame, before you traumatize him for life…

A whole lot of people will get shit from their boss for being late to work. And others will have to clean your mess. It’s way too messy…

Unless you want to go with a maximum “fuck you society” impact. But the people who’ll suffer will be people like you. The ones you hate will probably have a good laugh and put pictures of you online. How do you think I got my photos... I... didn't kill anyone *looks left and right*

But I thought about pushing people way more often than jumping myself. I had a few urges, just for sadistic vengeful fun, mostly, since no one is innocent and they were probably making someone else feel miserable. But that entertainment wouldn't be worth the trouble... I’m content with being a cynical misanthrope, psychopath end up in cages; you people outnumber someone quickly when you put your mind into doing something together…

I love my freedom.



Train tracks

I thought that it would be the best vehicle idea, since it can't turn or stop to avoid you, the driver doesn't expect anyone to be there and he can see much anyway. I love trains. Sweet siren of death~

So I wanted to use the tracks of a good old fashioned train… until I read her story:

Kristen Anderson: Suicide Interrupted


Instead to put her neck on the track and hopefully get decapitated, or at least her body across like the old far west movies, I think she laid down parallel to the tracks, legs first. But either way, what happened is…

She got thrown off the tracks, cut in half… with her legs by her side… and then she discovers what a “horrible life” truly was… and it wasn’t being grounded…

"Doctors tried to re-attach her legs, but they were unsuccessful. After a number of surgeries, Kristen was told she’d probably be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life."

Amputated legAmputated shredded leg


It caused further shock on her already exhausted body…

What happens is that 5 loved ones died, only one of that would cause severe adrenal exhaustion for anyone… but since it’s taboo to feel sad in society, she pretended that everything was okay, adding even more stress and anguish, forced to bottle it in and let the pressure build up, to avoid inconveniencing others…

Being simply grounded and fearing angry parents is all that it took to make the pressure explode… It sounds ridiculous, but it was the last straw that broke her in half… literally.

I don’t think it’s the sadness that makes us wish we were dead, but to be denied the human right to feel our true selves. Like she said to people asking her if she was okay, implying the demand to say yes so they wouldn’t have to feel sad for her, she replied "I’m here. Isn’t that good enough?"

She discovered her inner self through Jesus… What I hate so much about it is that, by using the metaphorical image of someone else, you become dependent on that person. But if you seek the power of life in yourself, no one can excommunicate you from your own being! No one can abuse you threatening you with hellish ideas… But I think that what she found through Jesus is what I found through my survival instinct:

"I just realized that my life wasn’t mine to take that night, and I asked Him to forgive me for that and everything else I’d done wrong in life."

I feel the same about the force within me, the one that is even more powerful than my will, and that is keeping me alive.

I realized that I needed to choose life. I learned how to not be so extreme when something goes wrong. I know it’s not the end of the world. I ended up getting off of all my antidepressants and all my pain meds that they told me I was going to have to take the rest of my life. (Yeah, I bet doctors wish you made them rich for life. Bastards. It doesn't make them right or helpful!) My life has never been better. I just really try and find my value in God every single day, (Enjoy~) and I really try to seek Him with everything in me and live for Him completely."

That’s how I feel about my rational side and life itself.

She found a community and a purpose “Her goal is to keep people from the deep despair that can sometimes lead to suicide.”

I guess that what I hate so much about the church is that they try to force feed you their own ideas of God, refusing absolutely any interpretation, and even your own identity, that could differ from their own narrow view… It’s suffocating. But it was hard to find my way in the dark… I’m glad for her…

And I hope that you won’t need to cut your leg off to have your survival instinct kick in!

Read on Adrenal Fatigue in my health section.

You can crawl your way back out of hell itself if you take care~

I'm the living proof!

Or lay down on a train track and be very patient… or you might want to find out their schedules. And remember, try to put your head right to be decapitated. Unless you only want to loose weight at all cost. That could work.

Either way, take the time to think about it. If you eat some greens, take 2-4g of vitamin C and a warm bath, you’ll probably feel great after a nice rest~ Tomorrow is another day that will bring mysteries~

Even without legs, you won’t be grounded forever!



Train suicide - cut in half vertically
Maybe it works vertically after all...

Everyone can be wrong~


The image leads to hilarious replies at chan4chan.


My favorites comments:

"Bonus points for artistic impression"

"Remember kids, its down the road, not across the street."

"Moral of the story. Don't get railroaded!"

"Did he die?"

"Usually you get bounced and dragged down the tracks getting chopped into little pieces parts."

"Oh he did it the right way too so they cant stitch him up :)"

"Duct tape could fix that up again"

"Ride the rails...it sounds so romantic and adventurous."

Enjoy~


Next page: Overdose



Lisa Of Shades
4 September 2013
Right to be ©razy 2013 and beyond!