Intro ~ Writer
Hard to contact
I don't want to be harassed by robots
far as you know, this site could have been made by Lincoln.
But it wasn’t, obviously... there’s way too much sarcasms.
Yet, the source of information and the pleasantness of the presentation
don’t always reflect the value of the knowledge;
so who I am doesn't matter… Only the worth that you'll choose to
find and use for your own life does. But if
When I was a kid, I wanted to become a mad scientist
specialized in genetics. And I went for it too! With realistic expectations...
But then I got sick in college and had to readjust
So I'm not a doctor but I still know firsthand
using myself as a guinea pig.
After some rest, I chose an easier job than playing god:
Web design. (Admire my portfolio)
Or so I thought, after all, I had the same creative goals.
It made the emotional and rational sides of my brain happy, by designing
and programming. But after the abuse of my clients (100h a week for 2$
an hour. Don't try this at home) I faced my 3rd side: My primal survival
A darkness that only wished my protection with unconditional
love. I let others torture my limits hoping to deserve it, when
I had it all along. It took me forever to understand something so precious.
I thought it was evil, as if my needs didn't matter. But now I know better,
I made peace with all the facets a person has, and I even refer to them
in my name. Especially my dark side.
I could barely walk anymore, so I gave up my career to devote myself to
my true passion: Medical research. Everything
has two sides and this suffering allowed me
to my find true happiness.
Doctors claimed that it was all in my head, but the facts pointed somewhere
else. After years of research, I found about reactive hypoglycemia,
and even better: Adrenal
Fatigue. The later helped me understand everything and how
I also wished to become a humorist or a writer,
two great coping mechanisms.
Laughter is the 2nd best
medicine, after nutrition.
The consequences of bad habits from parents
to children have little to do with genetics.
Your body is made up of what you eat; it affects how you look and how
you feel in it.
I almost died many times in my life, but when I really came close, I understood
Life is simply about living.
If you are still alive by the end of the day,
your life is a success.
So enjoy it~
That's how I saved my life.
I wish I could stop so much useless suffering. Ah~ if only I was a dictator.
Publicity is propaganda with the brainwashed illusion of free will anyway.
Sarcastic humor kept me sane too; it helped me face the worst instead
to deny it.
Facing your pain is the first step to find a solution
I like to play dumb or shock people to see their emotions and who they
truly are. Sometimes I don't like the results, but then I can choose what's
best for me easily.
Rejection doesn't need to be feared, being with someone incompatible for
your needs is worst than the freedom to pursue them.
When loneliness is too painfully depressing...
It's actually a sign of magnesium deficiency
A couple is one more thing to deal with, with advantages and inconveniences,
not a solution to all things. It can help both bloom by sharing different
strengths, or wither when it's unfairly balanced.
You can only offer and share what you already
have on your own; even happiness, trust and love.
Knowledge is power.
But power requires self control for proper accuracy.
And the courage to dare open our mind... to new possibilities.
Sometimes what is pertinent, and even the most precious things, can only
be found in the strangest places... in the most unexpected way.
Like this site, perhaps.
Mad scientist VS Medical doctor
I dreamt of this project for the longest time.
What motivated me, besides getting healthier and having the energy to
move, is that I answer distressed people on
"Yahoo answers" and needed extra reply space because there is
so much to tell. I want to spare the useless agony that my REAL PHYSICAL
problems put me through, and especially the humiliation that health care
professionals caused when they either ignored what it was, refused to
acknowledge the proofs or called me insane... Actually all at the same
time. So I started with the Health section.
I stopped going to yahoo too, I was told that my answers were good but
they keep deleting them anyway. So I'll do this site for fun and just
assume that no one will ever read me. I survive and figure it out on my
own, so can you. I also made this site because I wanted to moderate my
own true free speech. To be finally allowed to exist with my real thoughts
and feelings in the world, even if no one will ever read me... at least
my existence is harder to erase here... So get lost if you don't like
it! Someone always will and you have no right to deny it to them. Use
that on a freaking child predator or something and leave me the hell alone
with my thoughts!!!
Gift to myself
I started to make this site close to my birthday. This is my gift to myself,
for all that have been denied to me, even some of the most vital and precious
things, that most people take for granted. I did the efforts for to deserve
it, I have even succeeded, but even if life is balanced and fair, people
are ungrateful and unjust. So this time I'm doing it to myself, and doing
it is its own reward.
There's way too much bullshit going on about health.
Perhaps I could have been saved if health practitioners found what I have
and helped me get better, instead to label my personality as defective
(hey at least I have one!). But after I made one pass me the tests I asked
for, and found out I was right, the toxic pills that he wanted me to take,
even when I was allergic to their filling, would have hurt me so much
that I don't think medicine has more than "snake
oil" to offer, even when they know what's going on, which
There were scams then and sure does now.
I was labeled an invalid, a lost cause... They didn't even test me even
less helped me. At my sickest I wondered if I deserve to live. With my
mega IQ, I thought I was meant for greatness and owed it to the world
to find a cure for cancer and stuff (turns out cancer is the survival
mechanism to isolate toxins, and what's killing you is the poison in your
daily lives... but there's no magic pill involved so no one wants to hear
The only think I owe to society is SHIT! And a whole
lot of it!!!
But I find useless suffering unbearable, even in others; it's just my
nature... I might not have the glory and money of doctors, but I can still
do a lot of good and help people to really get better
and be happy. Because I've been through it myself
and I know what can work; beyond the theories and selling speeches
of drug companies. I can encourage people because I got better in spite
of hopelessness, and show them that they have power
over their lives too. All that for free!!!
I have no reason to be ashamed.
I'm so proud that I couldn't become an official doctor!
Being sick allowed me to know what I'm talking about way more than
this shit: memorizing dusty text books like a parrot and being the pharmaceutical
To be fair, I have to say that some doctors are
my heroes, but across the whole planet, I can count them on my
hand, and I had a lot of time to search:
, so instead
of a link to my email, there's a clue on the right on how to figure it out.
(I removed it, I never read them)
I am god (or maybe the devil~)
This entire site is created by me
, the design
and even the PHP code. My menus will build themselves out of a list. How
fun is that! That's why I won't have a reply option. This isn't some account
on a blog site. It's ALL MINE!!! Mwahaha!
Well, the site itself is mine... I'm the administrator so some brat on a
power trip can't shut me down, easily and without a second thought, as if
I was some glitch in the universe. Which I probably am but I still want
I have to take information from somewhere and I don't have the energy or
possibility to make all the pictures... But I site my sources; I hope this
free publicity won't make it easier to punish me for it.
Please forgive me if I take your copyright when I shouldn't, it's hard to
tell, especially when you write "FREE royalty".
This site is my collection of beloved knowledge and beauty... It's for personal
use mostly and I doubt anyone will ever see it.
I'd like to buy most of them if I knew how and had the money... and wasn't
so scared to have my credit card robbed. It's hard enough to have money
stolen, but when it's money that I don't have it'd be tragic...
If you try to warn me, I'm not ignoring you, I just don't read emails.
I guess I could code some database eventually, but it's too much of a hassle
just to be rewarded with crap and insults. I don't think making efforts
to offer people the option to reply me is worth it; and this amazing article
harsh truths that will make you better person (on page 2)
"It's so much easier to just sit back and criticize
other people's creations
. (…) whatever you try to build or
create (…) you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators
who trash it. (…) Just remember, they're only expressing their own
fear, since trashing other people's work is another
excuse to do nothing
. (…) As long as they never produce anything,
it will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. (…) Their real effort
would have been amazing. Not like the shit you made."
I've got more than enough of that bananapoop. As much as I want to help
people, after getting so much crap trying to please people, this time
I'm not going to let anyone's opinions spoil my fun!!!
Not even my own!
This site is the first that I make for my personal
pleasure. I'm going to say what I want and the way I want! I'll rant and
You can hopefully use it to better yourself and your life, laugh or you're
free to hate.
But you can't talk back to me!
Well, it wouldn't matter anyway. I could use some pointers to help me
improve the facts, and praise is always fun but I can give it to myself.
But I don't want to spend my days filtering publicities in the comments;
and I can't stand uncreative lazy people, who spit their self hate at
others like venom
, as if it could make them
feel better to spread poison around, when it just makes them surrounded
by more crap and hate; instead to nurture better and make efforts to change...
My whole family is like this, I had more than my share for this life AND
the next! It's not welcomed in my life
even the virtual one!!!
Yes, this site is to help people. I'm someone
too, me first and foremost.
I'm going to enjoy... no... I'm already enjoying myself so much just thinking
Ah~ hell yeah~~~
I sure am proud of myself!
Lisa Of Shades
27 February 2013
Edited 1 december 2013
I'm an evil empath
. They're more like angels,
so I'm kind of a fallen one. Like Lucifer, in the old fable, abandoned because
he wanted free will and freedom. Sometimes you have to revolt for it. According
to human history, it's worth dying for. So we're not evil for wanting to
fight for our needs and safety, but if you insist~ I'll gladly call myself
I'll add the rest here since it could be useful for others: Health
~ Coping ~ Empath
Lisa Of Shades
27 February 2013
Pages about me
Lisa Of Shades
1 December 2013
Information about Copyright Infringement
I'm slowly learning more about them. Maybe I'll do a tutorial about that
too if I ever figure it out. Sometimes it's very hard to tell, and sometimes
the use of the word "free" is very misleading, probably on purpose.
Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers) about Piracy or Copyright Infringement
Question: Is all copying piracy?
Answer: No. Copyright gives the owner exclusive rights to reproduce, adapt,
publicly distribute, perform and display their work. Nonetheless, the
law allows "fair use" of copyrighted material.
permits, in certain circumstances, the use or copying of all or a portion
of a copyrighted work without the permission of the owner
Copyrighted works may be used for purposes such as criticism,
news reporting, teaching
. To decide whether a use is "fair
use" or not, courts consider, in part:
(1) the purpose and character of the use (including whether such use is
of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational
(2) the nature of the copyrighted work (giving creative works more protection
than factual works);
(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the
copyrighted work as a whole (including size and quality- i.e. Does the portion
represent the "heart" of the work); and
(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the
Courts balance these factors, placing an emphasis on the fourth, however
rulings have been unpredictable. Parody may be protected by fair use where
the user is actually making a comment on or criticism of the copyrighted
material, even if a profit is made from the use. Still, distributing copyrighted
software will rarely be fair use because people will use those copies instead
of buying the software from the legitimate vendor.
I might not go to jail or have to sell internal organs to pay a fine for
a picture after all... I was really worried, but it makes me so happy to
add a touch of beauty to my site when I come across it doing research. I
always give links to the source since it'd be a shame to pass something
as my own, and I'm glad to show the rest of the site if I liked at least
the picture on it. I feel terrible about it tough... But this site was actually
born in Word and in my folders as a collection of precious things that I
didn't want to forget... after a hypoglycemic seizure... The green apple
in the orange ribbon is my favorite, and I'd like to buy it, just for the
principle of expressing my love... Maybe eventually I will... but my financial
situation is tragic right now. Please have mercy and find comfort in knowing
that it brought joy to my sad existence, and while I write I'm not out there
doing crazy stuff. Well... crazier stuff.
Lisa Of Shades
1 December 2013
I have many sides, like the human psyche, and we have more than one brain.
My serious self, my emotional side, I consider her the real me but I try
to avoid letting people see her:
She's a healing empath, feeling and foreseeing the pains of the world...
all she feels is melancholy and sorrows, almost all she ever got for her
kindness is abuse. And she can't save anyone, people have to do it for themselves.
So she has to watch like Cassandra (Greek mythology), as people refuse to
believe and get hurt, powerlessly and in despair.
My kid side, the one that I try to show the world. I swore as a child that
I'd always keep her alive:
She's innocence itself and able to appreciate the wonders of the world with
amazement. The only part capable of sheer joy.
My rational side, the best part of me, the man that I wish I was born as,
but I guess I still am for he's a real part of me:
Having imaginary friends is a great tool to explore the subconscious mind
and it's an important part of development. I still use mine as a doorway
to get his output, so I can look at everything with an open mind from many
angles. I imagine him as a man of great wisdom. He never claim something
to be true without facts to back it up, so he's never wrong or warn me that
he could be. Since my brain picks up more information than I can be aware
of, and can calculate the cause to effects faster than I can count; he has
a keen intuition that can even predict the future with impressive accuracy,
in spite of the future being fluid and with infinite possibilities.
My dark side, primal side, survival instinct, self preservation:
I used to be terrified by it until I finally understood his purpose. A wolf
at first, then a woman, then I merged with my wiser side to give him a reason
and be able to dialogue with him. Now he's a calmer wolf, since I allow
him to protect me, he's happy that I'm safe so he's calmer, instead to bottle
him up in a cage until he breaks free completely berserk to save my life
from abusive people.
For the longest time I wondered which one is the real me... I thought it
was my emotional self since I use that side of my brain more, but I wouldn't
be me without all my parts. Like a diamond with many facets.
Enjoy my mind~
Lisa Of Shades
30 January 2013
I do medical research. No I don’t have a diploma and I’m not
paid for it, I don’t even have a lab and equipment *sniff*.
But thanks to google, the whole world is my guinea pigs
and all the researchers, doctors, specialists and even pioneers, in every
possible fields, are my colleagues.
Not having an acknowledge profession and not being part of an official group
allows me a pure freedom and openness of mind
without any pressure from my peers, force fed misinformation or threats
to my career and paychecks.
In a way I am more able to find the truth, because my very life and well
being depends on it… not my ego or profits. I find
what works… or I suffer, agonize and die.
Lisa Of Shades
Intelligence is cursed gift (but I still wouldn't
return it even if I could)
13 April 2014
I added a new IQ test to the right side bar.
If it’s accurate, I could join Mensa for sure. I thought that my first
test was a fluke, but I got even higher... (Maybe I would have got even
higher in French; I failed an English word association question, but yeah
that was stupid of me since maybe it was the easiest question. I’m
obsessed with plants, how come I don’t have "twig" in my
vocabulary!? But my math skills amazed myself. I was like "whoa~ my
rational brain, do you actually understand that stuff. Look at him go!")
I managed that while being sleep deprived and hungry… then my brain
really is reliable even in a pinch. Thank you brain! Thank you for saving
my life while all specialists failed.
The first test gave me an IQ of 131... this new one says 144... really!?
The test must be flawed... or I'm a freaking god! The average
is 100 (wait what!? Between 80 and 100!!!? wtf... that's low. Or am I high...
Ha! But I'm normal to me.) Geniuses have 160 and I'm closer to them... Damn,
are normal people really that stupid? That sure would explain a lot. But
let's blame bad judgments on misinformation, malnutrition, sleep deprivation
and being poisoned with chemicals. Whoever thought that putting brain damaging
mercury in vaccines and tooth fillings was either really stupid or wanted
to lower the average to make his score look higher... I blame profit oriented
policies. I sure made bad judgments, which resulted in sheer disasters even
in the area I focused on, until I put my own health first.
I also have a high emotional
(infos at helpguide) also called social
(test at kgajos.eecs.harvard.edu) But it's no guarantee
of success in friendship, love and career... it can probably even hinder
Enjoy your own even if it's limited, but intelligence is only bound by how
open your mind is to unknown information~
But a high IQ is no guarantee of success in friendship, love and career...
it can probably even hinder it and be painful. From what I understand it’s
because my emotional brain is so sensitive that my rational brain can have
enough data to come up with wise conclusions. So I’m suffering for
Also I noticed with computer screens that I can notice the refreshing rate
faster than regular folks, because my brain analyzes more images and data
per second. But the rest of my body is regular, so I end up exhausted faster,
like someone who run a sprint will do it faster than someone doing a marathon,
but they won’t last as long, while the person doing the marathon will
pace themselves and won’t be able to go as fast.
Probably anyone thinking long enough about something could come up with
a great idea, geniuses do it faster. Since our emotional brain is overwhelmed
with more perceptions, we also suffer more at once, so we need more emotional
support. Which makes us look weak and looked down upon, causing both a good
and bad irony: people deny us basic emotional support unable to understand
our plea, but that gives us all the more time to think… free of distraction
like friends, love… or even being able to keep a job.
So, that’s why geniuses can become unstable and crazy. Being eccentric
helps me cope by amusing myself, making me look even crazier, but suffering
less from it.
It takes money to get a recognized education (but google is free!) and it
takes social skill to be given a chance… and people seem to be more
receptive to blatant flattering lies than blunt mean truth. I can understand
that… I just can’t resist the fun of freaking people out.
What can drive a genius mad enough to create the atomic bomb is people's
stupidity... Einstein said that everything is relative; it’s all about
point of view, from where you stand. Stupid people are aggravating to the
average minds, but officially deficient people are a minority to “normal”
folks. But the difference between their IQ is the same as the gap between
average people and gifted individuals. It means that average people are
literally mentally deficient compared to someone who have a superior intelligence!
But what's really maddening isn't really their lower IQ, but the inflated
ego they get for being the majority: they think superior number makes them
superior, they believe that they know it all, that they should control everything
and won't listen to reason. To the average people someone with a rare high
IQ is just as bad as someone with a rare low IQ; because they're not normal
and they don't understand either of them!
Imagine living in a world where everywhere you go, all the specialists you
depend on, are seriously retarded… (The movie Idiocracy is already
happening as far as I can see.) But unlike mentally challenged people who
humbly notice their limitations, normal people think they’re perfect
and above all because they’re the majority, so they are led by their
ego, stubbornly clinging to their ignorance and dogma… they ridicule
proof instead to argue rationally... laughing even when they cause harm
or kill people… blaming it on them!
Doctors are the 3rd leading cause of death, commiting hidden masacres in
plain sight out of willful ignorance and incompetence; because learning
wrong information well, like a parrot, doesn't make it right! I suffered
and watched people suffer. I think venting my frustration in this site will
be better than taking it out on people, maybe sharing what I know will cure
some ignorance, and that's what really make stupidity intolerable, but it's
easily improved with information, even though there is no cure because information
is endless~ So I can be a genius at certain things, but still a complete
skilless retard at others. Everyone is. That's why we gathered together
as a society. Not to mock and bully each other differences, but to benefit
from everyone's personnal talents.
Being average isn't a skill, being unusual isn't a flaw! Being in the middle
of a statistical
(iq-score-guide at free-iqtest) doesn’t make
it better, and there are always exceptions on both ends, it doesn’t
make them worse. Even people who are on the lower end can bring unique perspectives
and values to the whole!
I had a much better time with someone with the enthusiastic mind of a child,
instead of an average person who was utterly boring and tried to hammer
down anything that seemed out of the ordinary!
I personally love to turn my brain off and embrace the world with the amazed
mind of a child. My kid side is the only part of me that can feel joy, and
it’s sheer joy. I don't see why it can be considered immature... to
welcome the world for what it is, appreciate its wonders and rejoice with
them. I swore that I would never forget that side of me as an adult, so
I wouldn’t allow myself to drown in misery, worry, sadness and anger
while there’s so much simple beauty around me. When you look beyond
what people claim that life should be, and look straight at life itself...
there's beauty even in ugliness.
You’re free to enjoy the writings straight from my crazy brilliant
mind, or not~ Either way I need to release the pressure of having so many
thoughts and feelings.
If you could learn something, here or anywhere else, that would be really
Enjoy~ always~ Find a way or just stop, really. Life is that simple~
Lisa Of Shades
1 December 2014